IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The provided charts illustrate the distribution of energy consumption and the associated greenhouse gas emissions in an average Australian household.

The provided charts illustrate the distribution of energy consumption and the associated greenhouse gas emissions in an average Australian household.
The given charts depict the distribution of
energy
Use synonyms
 use and
greenhouse
Use synonyms
gas
Use synonyms
emissions
Use synonyms
 in an average Australian household. The first
chart
Use synonyms
 illustrates how
energy
Use synonyms
 is utilized across different household activities,
while
Linking Words
 the second
chart
Use synonyms
 highlights the resulting
greenhouse
Use synonyms
gas
Use synonyms
emissions
Use synonyms
 from these activities. From the first
chart
Use synonyms
, it is evident that heating accounts for the largest proportion of
energy
Use synonyms
 use at 42%, followed by water heating at 30%. Refrigeration, lighting, and other appliances consume 7%, 4%, and 15% of
energy
Use synonyms
 respectively, with cooling using the least at 2%.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the second
chart
Use synonyms
 reveals a different distribution for
greenhouse
Use synonyms
gas
Use synonyms
emissions
Use synonyms
. Water heating is the major contributor to
emissions
Use synonyms
 at 32%,
although
Linking Words
 it uses less
energy
Use synonyms
 than heating. Heating, which consumes the most
energy
Use synonyms
, contributes 15% to
greenhouse
Use synonyms
gas
Use synonyms
emissions
Use synonyms
. Other appliances,
while
Linking Words
 using 15% of
energy
Use synonyms
, account for 28% of
emissions
Use synonyms
. Refrigeration and lighting are responsible for 14% and 8% of
emissions
Use synonyms
 respectively, with cooling contributing only 3%. These charts indicate that
while
Linking Words
 heating is the largest
energy
Use synonyms
 consumer, it does not proportionately result in
greenhouse
Use synonyms
gas
Use synonyms
emissions
Use synonyms
.
Conversely
Linking Words
, water heating, other appliances, and refrigeration contribute significantly more to
emissions
Use synonyms
 relative to their
energy
Use synonyms
 use.
This
Linking Words
 suggests varying efficiencies and environmental impacts of different
energy
Use synonyms
 uses in households.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words energy, greenhouse, gas, emissions, chart with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 6 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: