IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

It is imporatnt for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age.Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction.To what extend do you agree or disagree with this opinion?What sort of punishment should parents and teahcers be allowed to use to teach good behaviour to children?

#imporatnt #children #difference #right #age #punishment #distinction #sort #parents #teahcers #behaviour
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Early years for
children
 are crucial as it is imperative for them to know about right and wrong at
this
 stage of
life
,
also
,
punishments
 are necessary to help them in getting
this
 distinction. I totally agree with
this
 notion, even though,
punishments
 can be varied from harsh to soft, I believe that soft
punishments
 will make them good
behaved
Wrong verb form
behave
show examples
. Humans
are tend
Change the verb form
tend
show examples
 to learn
through out
Correct your spelling
throughout
show examples
 their lives but learning in
initial
Correct article usage
the initial
show examples
 years of
life
 is the foundation of behaviour and habits they follow in
lifetime
Correct pronoun usage
their lifetime
show examples
.
Punishments
, not
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
harsh ones, can be beneficial for
children
 and parents as well because
children
 will be able to value the right things in less time though care to be taken of
children
 as they tend to become trackless easily.
In addition
 to
this
, controlled reprimand
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
 their mistakes would make them things
unforgetable
Correct your spelling
unforgettable
 and lessons will be learnt for
life
 long. Implying soft and tactic punishment rather than harsh punishment will put fear in
minds
Correct article usage
the minds
show examples
' of young ones that if
wrong
Change the article
the wrong
show examples
 action is done they will
loose
Replace the word
lose
show examples
 something.
For example
, cutting down the screen time, deduction in pocket money and grounding are effective
punishments
 which will make them think twice before doing any
such
 wrong thing or
misbehavour
Correct your spelling
misbehaviour
. Inducting
fear
Correct article usage
the fear
show examples
 of losing something in learners' minds will greatly benefit them in future and make them value
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
things efficiently and effectively. In
conculsion
Correct your spelling
conclusion
, it can be said that
punishments
 are necessary for teaching
life
 lessons to teenagers
however
Add the comma(s)
, however
show examples
, in
controlled
Correct article usage
a controlled
show examples
 and regulated manner as
this
 will engrave a
long lasting
Add a hyphen
long-lasting
show examples
 fear of losing something.
Submitted by dhindsa.randeep on

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task achievement
You addressed the question well, stating your agreement and providing reasonable justifications. However, ensure that all main points are elaborated upon and fully supported with relevant examples.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction and conclusion. However, there are some awkward phrasings and minor grammatical errors that can disrupt the flow. Consider using linking words and phrases more consistently to improve cohesion.
coherence cohesion
While your ideas are generally clear, some sentences are complex and harder to follow. Simplify your sentence structures where possible and ensure that each paragraph centers around a single main idea.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly sets the context and gives your stance on the issue, which is essential for a good essay.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and reinforces your position, bringing a sense of closure.
task achievement
You provided specific examples of soft punishments, which demonstrates your understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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