It is imporatnt for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age.Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction.To what extend do you agree or disagree with this opinion?What sort of punishment should parents and teahcers be allowed to use to teach good behaviour to children?

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Early years for
children
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

are crucial as it is imperative for them to know about right and wrong at
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

stage of
life
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

,
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
punishments
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

are necessary to help them in getting
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

distinction. I totally agree with
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

notion, even though,
punishments
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

can be varied from harsh to soft, I believe that soft
punishments
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

will make them good
behaved
Wrong verb form
behave

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb behaved. Consider changing it.

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. Humans
are tend
Change the verb form
tend

It appears that the form of the verb tend does not work with are in this sentence.

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to learn
through out
Correct your spelling
throughout

The word through out seems to be miswritten. Consider replacing it.

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their lives but learning in
initial
Correct article usage
the initial

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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years of
life
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

is the foundation of behaviour and habits they follow in
lifetime
Correct pronoun usage
their lifetime

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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.
Punishments
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, not
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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harsh ones, can be beneficial for
children
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and parents as well because
children
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

will be able to value the right things in less time though care to be taken of
children
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

as they tend to become trackless easily.
In addition
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

to
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, controlled reprimand
on
Change preposition
for

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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their mistakes would make them things
unforgetable
Correct your spelling
unforgettable

If you don’t want unforgetable to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

and lessons will be learnt for
life
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

long. Implying soft and tactic punishment rather than harsh punishment will put fear in
minds
Correct article usage
the minds

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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' of young ones that if
wrong
Change the article
the wrong

It appears that the phrase wrong action does not contain the correct article usage. Consider making a change.

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action is done they will
loose
Replace the word
lose

The word loose may be used incorrectly. Review the following notes to determine the appropriate usage for your context.

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something.
For example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, cutting down the screen time, deduction in pocket money and grounding are effective
punishments
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

which will make them think twice before doing any
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

wrong thing or
misbehavour
Correct your spelling
misbehaviour

If you don’t want misbehavour to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

. Inducting
fear
Correct article usage
the fear

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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of losing something in learners' minds will greatly benefit them in future and make them value
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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things efficiently and effectively. In
conculsion
Correct your spelling
conclusion

If you don’t want conculsion to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

, it can be said that
punishments
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

are necessary for teaching
life
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

lessons to teenagers
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

however
Add the comma(s)
, however

It appears that you are missing a comma or two with the interrupter however. Consider adding the comma(s).

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, in
controlled
Correct article usage
a controlled

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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and regulated manner as
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

will engrave a
long lasting
Add a hyphen
long-lasting

It seems that long lasting is missing a hyphen. Consider adding the hyphen(s).

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fear of losing something.

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task achievement
You addressed the question well, stating your agreement and providing reasonable justifications. However, ensure that all main points are elaborated upon and fully supported with relevant examples.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction and conclusion. However, there are some awkward phrasings and minor grammatical errors that can disrupt the flow. Consider using linking words and phrases more consistently to improve cohesion.
coherence cohesion
While your ideas are generally clear, some sentences are complex and harder to follow. Simplify your sentence structures where possible and ensure that each paragraph centers around a single main idea.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly sets the context and gives your stance on the issue, which is essential for a good essay.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and reinforces your position, bringing a sense of closure.
task achievement
You provided specific examples of soft punishments, which demonstrates your understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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