IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

the chart shows shares of expenditure for five major categories in the US, UK, Canada and Japan in 2019

the chart shows shares of expenditure for five major categories in the US, UK, Canada and Japan in 2019
Contained the chart is information pertaining to
proportion
Add an article
the proportion
a proportion
show examples
 of five purposes of expense in four nations by 2019.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be observed that the outlay on housing was higher than other categories in all countries, with the exception of
Japan
Use synonyms
.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the
expenditure
Use synonyms
 on health care was the lowest in all four countries. Beginning with housing, where the United States dominated, comprising over 25%, behind
this
Linking Words
 level, Canada,
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
 Kingdom and
Japan
Use synonyms
 stood at 21%, 22%,
24
Correct word choice
and 24
show examples
%, respectively. Turning to food
expenditure
Use synonyms
, it is evident that
Japan
Use synonyms
 had the highest number in
this
Linking Words
 category, accounting for 23%,
while
Linking Words
three
Correct article usage
the three
show examples
 countries’ expenditures ranged from 14% to 20%.
Subsequently
Linking Words
, Canada spent most of
their expense
Fix the agreement mistake
its expenses
show examples
 on transportation at approximately 20%,
while
Linking Words
 the
expenditure
Use synonyms
 on transportation is lower for
three
Correct article usage
the three
show examples
 remaining nations at under 17%. Moving on to healthcare
expenditure
Use synonyms
, the United States accounted for 7%,
whereas
Linking Words
 other nations are below 5%. Regarding clothing, where Canada and the United Kingdom stood at 6% and 5%
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
order, and the United States shares the same percentage as
Japan
Use synonyms
, at around 4%.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
▼
Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words japan, expenditure with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "stood" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: