The two pie charts below show the online shopping sales for retail sectors in Canada in 2005 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

The two pie charts below show the online shopping sales for retail sectors in Canada in 2005 and 2010.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Write at least 150 words.
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The two pie charts compare the proportion of online
sales
in four different retail sectors in the years 2005 and 2010.
Overall
, the percentage of internet transactions in
Electronics
Correct article usage
the Electronics
show examples
& Appliance and Home Furnishings sectors decreased,
whereas
in
Food
Correct article usage
the Food
show examples
& Beverage and Video Games sections increased. At 35% Electronics & Appliance had the majority of
sales
,
however
, over the period of five years it has lost the lead by
loosing
Correct your spelling
losing
show examples
5% of
sales
.
Therefore
, the most desired sector became Food & Beverage, which had only
one fifth
Add a hyphen
one-fifth
show examples
of the purchases in 2005 and
then
one third
Add a hyphen
one-third
show examples
in 2010, the exact increase was by 10%. In 2005 people bought the least from
Video
Correct article usage
the Video
show examples
Games section, but over the years the proportion went up by 5% making it out of the
last
place. In 2005 Home Furnishings had an impressive
one fourth
Add a hyphen
one-fourth
show examples
of all
sales
, but by 2010 the percentage
has
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
fallen by 10%.
Therefore
, in 2010 the
least
Correct word choice
lowest
show examples
number of
sales
was in the section of Home Furnishings with only 15% of people spending their money on these products.
Submitted by oimigle on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "therefore".
Vocabulary: Replace the words sales with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • distribution
  • percentage
  • sector
  • sales figures
  • revenue
  • growth
  • decline
  • stable
  • significant
  • leading
  • least performing
  • comparison
  • trend
  • increase
  • decrease
  • online shopping
  • retail sectors
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