Art classes, such as painting and drawing, are as important to a child’s development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Art courses
are
Verb problem
play
show examples
as
Correct your spelling
an
show examples
important role
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
a child’s growth as other courses, so
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
should be important in high schools. I totally agree with
this
statement. The reason I will illustrate in
this
essay. It is vital to understand that art is helping
children
improve
they
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
imaginary
Replace the word
imagination
show examples
because
children
need to use
they
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
imagine
Replace the word
imagination
show examples
to draw or paint something. When you
painting
Wrong verb form
paint
show examples
, it can help your mood become good after
study
Wrong verb form
studying
show examples
hard.
Moreover
, it can improve
children
’s talent
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
art. It helps them improve it without
go
Change the verb form
going
show examples
to class outside to learn it because in high school have taught it.
Children
who have
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
talent can
enroll
Change the spelling
enrol
show examples
Change preposition
on the
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
university which
teach
Change the verb form
teaches
show examples
that subject to help them become
artist
Fix the agreement mistake
artists
show examples
or
musician
Fix the agreement mistake
musicians
show examples
.
Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
they can live with their passion and have a
live
Replace the word
life
show examples
without thinking.
However
, people don’t want it
is
Change the verb form
to be
show examples
compulsory in school because some
children
don’t have talent so when they learn it they can feel
boring
Replace the word
bored
show examples
and it
waste
Change the verb form
wastes
show examples
their time. Meanwhile, they can study other more useful subjects which can secure their future like math
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
can help
they
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
enroll
Change the spelling
enrol
show examples
the
Change preposition
on the
show examples
top university or the university they want.
Moreover
, it can help
they
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
get the best job with
high
Correct article usage
a high
show examples
salary and they like it. Their life will become happy and they
don’t
Correct your spelling
won’t
need to care about what they need to do to earn
living
Correct article usage
a living
show examples
. In conclusion, I totally agree with
this
statement because it can help
children
’s development more
comprehensive
Change the word
comprehensively
show examples
and it
help
Change the verb form
helps
show examples
children
relax after
study
Wrong verb form
studying
show examples
hard.

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grammar
Improve grammatical accuracy to express ideas more clearly and reduce misunderstandings.
cohesion
Enhance the use of linking words to more effectively connect ideas between sentences and paragraphs.
examples
Use more specific examples and evidence to support your points. For instance, mention specific skills children gain from art classes and how they apply to future success.
structure
Strengthen the introduction and conclusion by summarizing the main points more effectively and restating the position clearly.
structure
The essay starts with a clear position statement, making the writer’s view immediately known.
content
Some good points are made about the benefits of art education, such as improving imagination and mood.
counterargument
The essay acknowledges a counterargument, which shows an understanding of different perspectives.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cognitive development
  • Critical thinking
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Emotional expression
  • Mental health
  • Cultural awareness
  • Diversity and inclusion
  • Fine motor skills
  • Hand-eye coordination
  • Academic performance
  • Artistic engagement
  • Career opportunities
  • Creative fields
  • Graphic design
  • Architecture
  • Game development
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