Art classes, such as paintings and drawing, are as important to a child's developments as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Whether sculptures have a big impact on the improvement of
children
,
Thus
art
classes are forced to apply in high schools.
This
writer agrees to accept
with
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apply
show examples
considering
art
is
a
Change the article
an
show examples
official
subject
. It can't be
doubt
Wrong verb form
doubted
show examples
that the role of
art
in
variety
Add an article
a variety
show examples
of cases, painting and drawing help people to understand easily through illustrating words into pictures. In young
poeple
Correct your spelling
people
, gaining
knowledges
Change the wording
knowledge
pieces of knowledge
bits of knowledge
show examples
is very quick.
Thus
, to motivate the speed of
brain
Add an article
the brain
show examples
,
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
apply
art
to be
a
Change the article
an
show examples
official
subject
. Demonstrating
knowledges
Change the wording
knowledge
pieces of knowledge
bits of knowledge
show examples
of
children
into
picture
Add an article
the picture
show examples
also
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
children
imagine the lessons clearly and
advanced
Wrong verb form
advances
show examples
the quality of thinking in every
children
Change to a singular noun
child
show examples
.
Benefits
Correct article usage
The benefits
show examples
of
art
are very large and play an important role in life. Typically
children
are very keen on colours,
thus
using a variety of colours in every
subjects
Change to a singular noun
subject
show examples
can make the thinking of
children
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
better and update
children
's vision to high levels. The other lesson
to
Add a missing verb
is to
show examples
apply
art
to be
a
Change the article
an
show examples
official
subject
that
help
Change the verb form
helps
show examples
children
to consider the
important
Replace the word
importance
show examples
of every
subjects
Change to a singular noun
subject
show examples
. Because coping
ith
Correct your spelling
with
show examples
people,
officcial
Correct your spelling
official
officials
subjects
must be related to calculator
adn
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and
the thinking of
childen
Correct your spelling
children
.
Gving
Correct your spelling
Giving
art
to the main
subject
that
help
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helps
show examples
people realise the value of
art
aand
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and
spend
Wrong verb form
spending
show examples
time
on
evry
Correct your spelling
every
subject
is similar. Considering
art
is the main
subject
also
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
children
study managing
time
and students will be good at
variety
Add an article
a variety
show examples
of
subjects
.
Conclusion
Change preposition
In conclusion
show examples
,
art
should be considered
main
Correct article usage
the main
show examples
subject
because
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
benefits of
art
,
art
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
thinking
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
children
is better and
teach
Correct subject-verb agreement
teaches
show examples
children
how to manage
time
and spend
time
on
subject
Correct article usage
a subject
show examples
is similar. From that,
children
will be improved quickly.
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task achievement
The essay needs to present a clearer thesis statement in the introduction, which clearly outlines your stance on whether art classes should be compulsory. Make sure your standpoint is easy to understand.
task achievement
Include more specific examples to illustrate your points about the benefits of art for children's development. This would help strengthen your argument and make your ideas more tangible and relatable for the reader.
coherence and cohesion
Work on organizing your paragraphs more effectively. Each paragraph should focus on a single main idea, introduced by a topic sentence. This will help improve the logical structure and flow of your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. Use linking words and phrases to create better flow and cohesion between your ideas.
task achievement
Be mindful of grammatical errors and awkward phrasing, as they can detract from the clarity of your ideas. Consider proofreading your essay or using grammar-checking tools to catch mistakes.
task achievement
The essay recognizes the importance of art in children's development and attempts to justify why it should be a compulsory subject in high school.
task achievement
You highlight that children's imaginations and cognitive skills can be enhanced through art, which is a valid and compelling point.
coherence and cohesion
The conclusion summarizes the main points effectively, reinforcing the argument made in the essay.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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