Art classes, such as paintings and drawing, are as important to a child's developments as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
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Benefits
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on
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task achievement
The essay needs to present a clearer thesis statement in the introduction, which clearly outlines your stance on whether art classes should be compulsory. Make sure your standpoint is easy to understand.
task achievement
Include more specific examples to illustrate your points about the benefits of art for children's development. This would help strengthen your argument and make your ideas more tangible and relatable for the reader.
coherence and cohesion
Work on organizing your paragraphs more effectively. Each paragraph should focus on a single main idea, introduced by a topic sentence. This will help improve the logical structure and flow of your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. Use linking words and phrases to create better flow and cohesion between your ideas.
task achievement
Be mindful of grammatical errors and awkward phrasing, as they can detract from the clarity of your ideas. Consider proofreading your essay or using grammar-checking tools to catch mistakes.
task achievement
The essay recognizes the importance of art in children's development and attempts to justify why it should be a compulsory subject in high school.
task achievement
You highlight that children's imaginations and cognitive skills can be enhanced through art, which is a valid and compelling point.
coherence and cohesion
The conclusion summarizes the main points effectively, reinforcing the argument made in the essay.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite