art classes, such as painting or drawing, are as important to a child's development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Some individuals presume that artistic courses are as crucial to the improvement of a child as mathematics or chemistry,
therefore
, they should be forced to study in high schools. This
writer totally disagrees with this
statement due to
the unnecessary and also
unpopularity of this
subject.
There is no doubt that drawing a picture is not a difficult task for students at the moment because of the existence of up-to-date technologies, as a result
, spending time in art classes seems not to be essential. In other words
, teenagers, nowadays, are able to create a masterpieces
with specific applications on their smartphones or laptops, Correct the article-noun agreement
a masterpiece
masterpieces
even
those pictures will possibly be more beautiful and attractive than the products of well-known artists. Correct word choice
and even
For instance
, in a number of countries, pupils usually abuse artificial intelligence in order to draw a picture which definitely helps them gain a higher score in the art classes. As a consequence
, this
subject needs to be deleted in high schools.
Besides
, the number of learners who are willing to expend hours to draw an image tends not to be noticeable. It can also
be understood that painting is not always a passion of every student due to
the difficulty of this
subject. The creativity of young generations gradually turns limited, and they usually prefer jobs involve
intelligence Correct pronoun usage
that involve
as well as
thinking ability. For instance
, if an individual learning about statistics such
as economy or finance is asked to enrol in an
craft curriculum, they will think that it is a waste of time Change the article
a
due to
the fact this
is not their hobby and also
not effective for their future career.
In conclusion, some people believe that the importance of profession
is comparable with other subjects, Correct article usage
the profession
however
, according to
this
writer’s experience, it is obviously unnecessary and unattractive to learners nowadays.Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the core question, but it could benefit from a clearer and more balanced argument. Make sure to provide both sides of the argument (pros and cons of making art compulsory) to offer a more comprehensive response.
task achievement
Work on developing your main points with more specific and relevant examples. This will help strengthen your argument and make your ideas more compelling.
coherence cohesion
There are some grammatical errors and awkward expressions that detract from the clarity of your ideas. Consider reviewing your essay for these issues and refine your writing for better clarity.
coherence cohesion
The essay structure is mostly clear, but try to use a variety of cohesive devices more effectively to link your ideas and paragraphs. This will help to improve the overall flow of the essay.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear and concise conclusion that summarizes your viewpoint well. This helps to bring closure to your essay and reinforces your main points.
coherence cohesion
The introduction sets the stage for your argument by clearly stating your stance on the topic. This helps to immediately engage the reader and provide a direction for your essay.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?