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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Art classes, such as painting and drawing, are as important for children’s development as other subjects, so they should be compulsory in high school. Do you agree or disagree?

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The role of
art
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education
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 in the holistic development of
students
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 has been a topic of ongoing debate.
While
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 some argue that
subject
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subjects
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 like mathematics and science are more critical, others believe that
art
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 classes,
such
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 as painting and drawing, hold equal importance.
This
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 author agrees with
this
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 mindset because of developed skills and helping broaden their horizons.
Art
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education
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 fosters creativity, a trait
that is
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 increasingly being recognized as vital in the 21st-century job market. It encourages
students
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 to think outside the box and come up with innovative solutions.
Moreover
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,
art
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 classes provide a platform for self-expression, allowing
students
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 to convey their thoughts and emotions creatively.
This
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 can lead to improved mental health and emotional well-being. Making
art
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 classes compulsory in high school ensures that all
students
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 get the opportunity to reap these benefits, regardless of their background or future career aspirations. It
also
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 sends a strong message about the value our society places on creativity and self-expression.
However
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, it's important to ensure that
this
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 doesn't lead to an overburdened curriculum and that
students
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 still have a choice in their learning journey. In conclusion,
while
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 the importance of
art
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education
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 is undeniable, whether it should be compulsory in high school is a more complex issue. It's crucial to strike a balance between providing
students
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 with a well-rounded
education
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 and respecting their individual interests and career goals. Ultimately, the decision should be based on what is best for the
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students'
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student's
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overall
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 development and future success.

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task achievement
You can strengthen your argument by providing more specific examples, such as studies, statistics, or anecdotes. This will add depth and authenticity to your argument.
task achievement
Try to elaborate further on your points. For instance, explain more about how self-expression impacts mental health, or how creativity is valued in the job market. This will make your essay more comprehensive.
coherence cohesion
Ensure the transition between paragraphs is smoother. Consider using transitional phrases such as 'furthermore', 'in addition', or 'on the other hand' to make the flow more seamless.
coherence cohesion
Develop one or two of your arguments in more detail. This will help to strengthen the coherence of your essay as it stands, some sections feel slightly rushed or underdeveloped.
task achievement
Your introduction is clear and sets the tone for the essay. It introduces the main idea effectively and gives a glimpse of what the arguments will be.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is well-organized into clear paragraphs, each with a specific focus. This helps the reader to follow your line of reasoning.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion succinctly summarizes your main points and presents a balanced view, which is a strong way to end your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cognitive skills
  • Emotional intelligence
  • Mental well-being
  • Creativity and innovation
  • Cultural awareness
  • Global citizenship
  • Tolerance
  • Enhanced academic performance
  • Focus
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Mathematical abilities
  • Stress relief
  • Personal development
  • Self-discipline
  • Perseverance
  • Confidence
  • Teamwork
  • Collaboration
What to do next:
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