Art classes, such as painting and drawing, are as important to a child’s development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory for in schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Art classes
are
Verb problem
have
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proved to be significantly crucial, just like any other
lessons
, to the development of a child which is similar to other subjects.
Therefore
, it is compulsory for the curriculum of every school to have these
lessons
.
The
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They
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advocates
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advocate
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this
opinion
due to
mental benefits
as well as
creative thinking rather than
considered
Wrong verb form
considering
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those as a waste of time. It ought to be self-aware that more than a class, these entertaining
lessons
could act as a therapy for those suffering from stress. To cope with increasing demands for qualified employees, the academic world is obligated to add more advanced knowledge and skills to the current system, putting more pressure
onto
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on
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regular students which could result in depression and burnout.
By contrast
, art education proffers spare time for distressing to these pupils, giving them a chance
for building
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to build
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up their own imagination
while
sharing
the
Correct article usage
apply
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happiness with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
others resulting in a more positive state.
For instance
, a stressed student may express their emotions
onto
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on
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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paper and share
with
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them with
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other
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others
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ones,
thus
, sympathy can be found and so does a better friendship, giving relief and enlightened feelings
as a result
. Granted, some people who believe in a more academic setting are of the opinion that learning art classes is a waste of time and that artistic jobs have too little value in today’s world and,
hence
, learning these would not lead to a prosperous future.
This
point is true in some ways but the creative thinking gained through these
lessons
,
however
, is the most pivotal factor that
make
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makes
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up the significance rather than the subjects themselves. Through artistic activities including drawing and painting, students can build their own originality
along with
unique organization styles and models which are, of course, an indispensable part of almost every aspect of life ranging from business to family. Thereby, proving the
needs
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need
show examples
for these lectures in the curriculum. In conclusion, with the advantages regarding stress cure and creativity, it is worth adding the arts to the academic system.
Additionally
, a perfect balance between professional and artistic subjects is recommended so as to achieve the greatest success for both individuals and communities.

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general
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general
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cohesion
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coherence
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task achievement
Relevant and insightful points are made to support the main argument.
cohesion
The introduction and conclusion link well with the overall argument.

Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cognitive development
  • Critical thinking
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Emotional expression
  • Mental health
  • Cultural awareness
  • Diversity and inclusion
  • Fine motor skills
  • Hand-eye coordination
  • Academic performance
  • Artistic engagement
  • Career opportunities
  • Creative fields
  • Graphic design
  • Architecture
  • Game development
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