IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below show the most populer films by genre for men and women and general ticket sales for different types of film in the USA in 2010.

The charts below show the most populer films by genre for men and women and general ticket sales for different types of film in the USA in 2010.
#show #populer #films #genre #men #women #ticket #sales #film #usa
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The below charts
depicts
Change the verb form
depict
show examples
 the famous films for
males
Use synonyms
 and females and the
sales
Use synonyms
 of tickets for various movies in
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 in 2010. From the
table
Add a comma
table,
show examples
it is clear that
Linking Words
 men captured the most significant place in going to
cinema
Correct article usage
the cinema
show examples
 except
romantic
Change preposition
for romantic
show examples
Use synonyms
comedy
Fix the agreement mistake
comedies
show examples
. The women dominate in romantic
comedy
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 in other genres there is not
to
Correct your spelling
too
show examples
 much interest. Action movies are the most popular among
males
Use synonyms
 with a number of 40 and it is the highest trend within all genres. In
comedy
Use synonyms
 and
western
Capitalize word
Western
show examples
 movies
males
Use synonyms
 and females are in the same positions
accordingly
Linking Words
 20 and 10. In thriller and science fiction
males
Use synonyms
 again experienced high
position
Fix the agreement mistake
positions
show examples
 with a
number
Fix the agreement mistake
numbers
show examples
 15 and 10.
In
Linking Words
contrast
Add a comma
contrast,
show examples
 women are six-fold higher in romantic
comedy
Use synonyms
. When comes to
pie
Correct article usage
the pie
show examples
 chart the interest
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 action tickets is nearly half of all sold ones with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
number 49 %. The
sales
Use synonyms
 of
Use synonyms
comedy
Correct article usage
the comedy
show examples
 genre captured nearly
quarter
Correct article usage
a quarter
show examples
 of total
sales
Use synonyms
 with
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 proportion of 24%. From the pie
chart
Add a comma
chart,
show examples
 it is
also
Linking Words
 clear that the
sales
Use synonyms
 of tickets for
thriller
Fix the agreement mistake
thrillers
show examples
 and romantic
Use synonyms
comedy
Fix the agreement mistake
comedies
show examples
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 in the lowest position as the figure for
Add an article
a thriller
show examples
thriller
Fix the agreement mistake
thrillers
show examples
 is 10% and for romantic
Use synonyms
comedy
Fix the agreement mistake
comedies
show examples
 is 12%. (Samir Nabiyev)
Submitted by checkmyessay9 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words males, sales, comedy with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: