Some people think that social media platforms are useful for business and making new friends, while others think that such websites are harmful. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of social media.
Social
media
is the talk to
the decade, which points out two Change preposition
of
opinion
one describes Change to a plural noun
opinions
opportunities
in multiple business
& bringing Change to a plural noun
businesses
people
closer and the other shows harmful aspects of it. To describe the issue in
hand I would like to present Change preposition
at
advantages
and disadvantages of social Correct article usage
the advantages
media
.
Primarily, social media
has came
a long way, to put things in perspective. Social Change the verb form
come
media
have provided many benifits
to the world even though commonly known for information and entertainment. In Correct your spelling
benefits
last
5 Correct article usage
the last
years
social Add a comma
years,
media
has introduced multiple business
opportunities
that are currently helping small business
and Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
enviormental
control and Correct your spelling
environmental
became
an aspiration & motivation for Wrong verb form
have become
infuencing
Correct your spelling
influencing
population
for the better good Correct article usage
the population
for
the world. Change preposition
of
Additionally
, It has also
encourage
us Change the verb form
encouraged
into making
new friends and Change preposition
to make
overcoming
fears, Wrong verb form
overcome
looking
out for new Wrong verb form
look
opportunities
and became
an Wrong verb form
become
inpiration
for rural Correct your spelling
inspiration
people
by showing boundless opportunities
in the world.
Secondly
, social media
is also
known for destroying lives. For instance
, multiples evidences
and surveys Change the wording
evidence
pieces of evidence
shreds of evidence
shows
Change the verb form
show
india
is Change the capitalization
India
majorily
known Correct your spelling
majorly
majority
manipulating
Change preposition
for manipulating
population
for political gains, driving underage kids towards crimes & pornography. Correct article usage
the population
Furthermore
, social media
encourage
and drives Correct subject-verb agreement
encourages
people
emotions by Change noun form
people's
countinously
engaging with multiple emotional hormones leading to phone addiction, time wastage and Correct your spelling
constantly
worses
health conditions by causing depression, anxiety etc.
In summary, I believe social Correct your spelling
worsens
worse
media
has brought people
closer and expanses
career and Replace the word
expanded
business
opportunity
but it came with a negative aspect leading Fix the agreement mistake
opportunities
people
into
Change preposition
to
making
crimes. If the government takes healthy steps towards controlling bad Verb problem
commit
aspect
of social Fix the agreement mistake
aspects
media
, it can help many people
.Submitted by nick
on
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coherence cohesion
Try to avoid repetitive phrases. For example, the phrase 'social media' was repeated quite a lot, which can be monotonous for the reader.
coherence cohesion
Focus on organizing your ideas into clear paragraphs. Each paragraph should have one main idea and supporting details that are closely related to that idea.
task achievement
Use more specific examples to support your points. This will make your essay more persuasive and relatable.
task achievement
Be mindful of language accuracy and grammar. Small mistakes like 'benifits' instead of 'benefits' and 'came' instead of 'has come' can take away from the overall quality of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Good job on including an introduction and conclusion. This provides a clear framework for your essay and helps the reader follow your argument.
task achievement
There is a clear attempt to discuss both advantages and disadvantages of social media, which addresses the task prompt effectively.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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