Some people believe that to protect local culture, tourism should be banned in some areas whereas others think that change is inevitable and that banning tourism will have no benefits. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.
Certain individuals believe that local culture can be preserved by suspending international travel
however
others do not agree with the same idea. They think that it is not a solution of
Change preposition
to
this
issue because nobody can hinder tourism
industry from growing and expanding. In Correct article usage
the tourism
this
essay, both opinions will be explored further
to draw a conclusion. From my perspective, it is an impossible maneuver
and Change the spelling
manoeuvre
this
industry should be supported to contribute to progress
of its Add an article
the progress
area
.
To begin
with, exploration of an unchartered territory is a human nature which cannot be enforced by banning it to protect native traditions. Some countries depend on this
sector to attract investors and arrange employment for their people
. So, tourists and native people
are intertwined to get the
benefits from each other. To exemplify, Maldives is an island country where other natural resources are not enough to support their population. Correct article usage
apply
However
, the natural scenery of this
country allure
foreigners to explore the beaches and other picturesque locations. Verb problem
entices
Therefore
, they exploit this
advantage to attract tourism to their country. Ergo, it is beneficial for both people
.
In contrast
, due to
the effect of foreign visitors
the local populace tends to change themselves to become more like them. They imitate clothing styles and even start speaking other languages. Add a comma
visitors,
This
is why some people
worry about fading
away of old traditions Correct article usage
the fading
of
their Change preposition
in
area
. To exemplify, tourist guides speak to the visitors in major languages of the world because the visitors cannot comprehend their mother language. This
effect compounds and people
forget their own traditional customs.
In conclusion, exploration of an area
is inevitable
venture and any curious traveller would never leave a chance to do so. Add an article
the inevitable
an inevitable
Besides
this
, native people
of an area
also
get benefitted
from Wrong verb form
benefit
such
expeditions. Thus
, travel cannot be stopped although
certain measures should be implemented to save unique features of an area
.Submitted by Kiran on
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coherence cohesion
To elevate your essay, consider more explicit topic sentences for each paragraph to enhance clarity.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear, central idea supported by precise examples. This will strengthen your cohesion and coherence.
task achievement
In the task response, you could elaborate more on the measures to protect local culture while still supporting tourism. This would provide a more nuanced perspective.
task achievement
Try to incorporate more specific and varied examples to fully illustrate your points and enrich the essay's depth.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly outlines the issue and your viewpoint, setting a solid foundation for the essay.
task achievement
You have supported your main points with examples, which helps to clarify and reinforce your arguments.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a logical structure, and it is easy to follow the flow of your arguments from one paragraph to the next.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the discussion and reiterates your viewpoint, providing a clear ending to the essay.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
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