Art classes, such as painting and drawing, are as important for children's development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high school. Do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Highschool
Correct your spelling
High school
show examples
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
mandatory for
studying
Wrong verb form
study
show examples
art
.
This
writer argues that they should have an
art
class to improve their skills and creativities
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
voluntary
Change the word
voluntarily
show examples
. It is vital to understand that
students
who do not have talents might have a negative effect on studious results.
This
is because they not only study to
repair
Verb problem
prepare
show examples
for their university admission but
also
their
art
classes
.
Consequently
, they lost their balance in both main subjects
anf
Correct your spelling
and
art
classes
because of the high amount of
knowledges
Change the wording
knowledge
pieces of knowledge
bits of knowledge
show examples
for studying. Take some high
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
in
Viet Nam
Correct your spelling
Vietnam
show examples
as an example,
art
is not
have
Verb problem
allowed
show examples
at high
school
,
students
Correct word choice
and students
show examples
who want to improve their
talent
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
should
joint
Correct your spelling
join
show examples
an extra class because
school
Correct article usage
the school
show examples
just focus on repairing
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
university admission. Another key component of the case for elective
art
classes
is
interests
Correct article usage
the interests
show examples
of
studentd
Correct your spelling
students
of higher artistic inclination. It should be self-evident that
students
have
Correct pronoun usage
who have
show examples
artistic
talent
should have the chance to develop skills and knowledge about their
artistcs
Correct your spelling
artistic
artists
fields
Change preposition
of ennchantment
show examples
ennchantment
Correct your spelling
enchantment
. In
this
situation,
students
who have
talent
will gain opportunities to achieve their
ambitious
Replace the word
ambitions
show examples
or easily follow their artistic
aspiration
Fix the agreement mistake
aspirations
show examples
. It must
also
be noted that if
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
do not have
art
classes
,
students
with artistic
talent
may miss opportunities to develop their talents and have more difficulty achieving their
aspiration
Fix the agreement mistake
aspirations
show examples
. In conclusion,
art
classes
would be better
of
Correct your spelling
if
show examples
there were choices.
Therefore
, it should have been demonstrated that
students
without artistic
talent
may suffer from academic performance.
Submitted by [email protected] on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

grammar
Improve grammar and sentence structure to enhance clarity and readability. Simple errors such as 'students who do not have talents' should be corrected to 'students who are not talented' or 'students who lack talent'.
content development
Make sure each main point is fully developed and supported with concrete examples or evidence. For instance, you mentioned that some high schools in Vietnam do not offer art classes, but this point could be strengthened with more specific details or data.
thesis statement
Clarify your main thesis in the introduction. Instead of saying 'This writer argues...' make it clear whether you agree or disagree with the statement and provide a brief overview of your main points.
structure
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
content
You make a good point about students with artistic talent needing opportunities to develop their skills.
conclusion
The essay concludes with a clear statement that sums up your overall argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cognitive development
  • Visual-spatial skills
  • Fine motor skills
  • Emotional expression
  • Creative thinking
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Cultural awareness
  • Historical context
  • Interpersonal skills
  • Teamwork
  • Collaboration
  • Self-esteem
  • Sense of accomplishment
What to do next:
Look at other essays: