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Band 5.5

Human activity has had a negative impact on plants and animals around the world. Some people think that this cannot be changed, while others believe actions can be taken to bring about a change. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#activity #impact #plants #animals #world #people #actions #change
Nowadays,
people
's lifestyle changes have a tremendous unfavourable impact on
trees
 and
animals
. Some groups of
people
 believe that it is impossible to do anything now,
whereas
 others state that still we have enough time to save the
environment
 by making robust plans. Before giving my opinion on
this
 topic, I would like to discuss both views in the upcoming paragraphs.
To begin
 with, many individual argues that it's too late to take any
actions
Fix the agreement mistake
action
show examples
against
Change preposition
apply
show examples
to save
trees
 and
animals
. The first and foremost reason to support
this
 view is increasing
pollution
 day by day. To elaborate,
pollution
 is created by vehicles and industries and these things are not going to decrease because of the incline in population around the globe.
For instance
,
People
 prefer private vehicles rather than public transport to reach their destination and it creates
pollution
.
Moreover
, some
animals
 are lost because of these human activities and those are not going to come back.
In that
Change preposition
That
show examples
, some creatures needed a specific
environment
 to live,
whereas
 global warming made it difficult for them to survive.
Thus
, it is not easy to get
back
Rephrase
apply
show examples
those
animals
 back into the
environment
.
However
, another group of folks said that if we can make strong plans,
then
 still we will save plants and
trees
 from extinction.
Firstly
, the government should make a plan to reduce
pollution
 and take action against illegal activities, which create unfamiliar conditions for wildlife.
For example
, many reports suggest that
people
 are cutting
trees
 illegally to use wood for making money.
Furthermore
, spreading awareness about the importance of
trees
 and
animals
 in the living
environment
,
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
might play a crucial role in preserving wildlife and plants. In my opinion, it is still we have time to make robust strategies to make
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 healthy and sustainable atmosphere for the plants and
animals
. That comprehensive approach from both the authorities and individuals will help to preserve wildlife.
Submitted by pp6859 on

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coherence cohesion
Consider improving the logical structure and flow between sentences and paragraphs. This will help to make your arguments clearer and more compelling. Use more linking words and phrases to ensure smooth transitions.
task achievement
Develop your main points with more specific examples and detailed explanations. This will help support your arguments better and make your essay more convincing.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-presented, clearly stating your stance and summarizing the main points.
task achievement
You have addressed both views on the topic adequately, offering a complete response to the task.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • negative impact
  • extinct
  • deforestation
  • pollution
  • habitat destruction
  • mitigate
  • reverse
  • stricter regulations
  • protected areas
  • endangered species
  • education and awareness campaigns
  • biodiversity
  • consequences
  • renewable energy sources
  • organic farming
  • eco-tourism
  • environmental regulations
  • sustainable practices
  • natural ecosystems
  • preserve biodiversity
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