Popular hobbies and interests change over time and are more a reflection of trends and fashions than an indication f what individuals really want to do in their spare time. To what extent do you agree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer.
It is believed that common hobbies are picked up based greater on their popularity than on what
people
really want to do in their free time. In my opinion, it is true that the latest trends
do have the
influence on what Correct article usage
an
people
choose to enjoy leisurely, however
, individuals will decide to continue following their own preferences.
Firstly
, it is inevitable that due to
the advances of media, people
are always updated with the newest trends
, and whatever becomes the hot topics
on social media Fix the agreement mistake
topic
such
as TikTok is perceived to be desirable by the majority. For example
, people
flock into
candle making after seeing some influencers having fun with it on Change preposition
to
Tiktok
, or the Correct your spelling
TikTok
numbers
of Fix the agreement mistake
number
people
trying dance
after watching dance challenges led by Fix the infinitive
to dance
Kpop
idols surges significantly. Indeed, social media has been nudging the audiences to jump from trend to trend, without considering what they really are interested in doing.
Correct your spelling
K-pop
However
, the effects created by those key opinion leaders - or KOLs for short, are only short-term. After the trend fades out, what keeps people
coming back to Correct article usage
apply
the
recreational activities depends on the fact that Correct article usage
apply
Correct word choice
apply
if
those can capture Correct word choice
apply
people
's interest. According to
latest
Correct article usage
the latest
researches
, Fix the agreement mistake
research
while
many have started pilates following Kpop
stars, the majority of them remain Correct your spelling
K-pop
practicing
and turn the activity into their daily routine Change the spelling
practising
due to
the health benefits it provides. Thus
, when the trends
fade away, what keeps people
continue
actually Wrong verb form
continuing
alligns
with their preferences.
In conclusion, it is indispensable that the latest Correct your spelling
aligns
align
trends
have huge
impact on what individuals might pick up doing. Add an article
a huge
Nevertheless
, they need to find interest in what they are doing to persue
as regular hobbies.Correct your spelling
pursue
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task achievement
Your essay presents a solid argument with good examples such as candle-making and dance challenges on TikTok. To improve further, make sure to clarify and strengthen your thesis statement a bit more. This will help readers understand your main point right from the start.
coherence cohesion
You have a logical structure with clear paragraphs. However, try to make the transitions between paragraphs smoother. This will improve the overall flow of your essay.
coherence cohesion
There are a few language mistakes such as 'picked up based greater on' which should be corrected to 'picked up more based on'. Make sure to proofread your essay to catch these minor errors.
task achievement
You provided relevant and specific examples that effectively support your points, such as TikTok trends and K-pop dance challenges.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a structured organization with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This makes it easy to follow your argument.
task achievement
Your writing is generally clear and your ideas are well-articulated. This helps in effectively communicating your argument.