IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

The chart below gives information about how families in one country spent their weekly income in 1968 and 2018. summarize the information and make a comparison. write at least 150 words.

The chart below gives information about how families in one country spent their weekly income in 1968 and 2018. summarize the information and make a comparison. write at least 150 words.
#information #families #country #income #comparison
The chart showed some data
how
Change preposition
on how
show examples
families
 in the country used their weekly salary
compare
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 1968 and 2018. Based on the data,
families
 in 1968 spent their most
money
 on food,
while
families
 in 2018 spent most
money
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 their leisure or travelling.
Furthermore
,
families
 in 1968 spent the least amount of
money
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 fuel and power same with the
families
 in 2018, but adding in personal goods for
families
 in 2018. Food is the aspect that
families
 in 1968 spent their most of
money
and
Change preposition
on and
show examples
 established around 35
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
.
However
,
people
 in 2018 spent less
money
 on food than
1968
Change preposition
in 1968
show examples
people
 that only around 15
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
. As
Change preposition
to a
show examples
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 information given in the data,
people
 in 2018 spent most of their
money
 on leisure, around 20
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 and
this
 is quadruple compared to
people
 in 1986
that
Correct word choice
who
show examples
 only
cost
Verb problem
spent
show examples
 around 5
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
leisure. Fuel and power still became the least aspect that
families
 in 1968 and 2018 spent their
salary
Fix the agreement mistake
salaries
show examples
 on
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
. But
people
 in 1968 spent more
money
 on fuel and power
that
Correct word choice
than
show examples
 more than 5
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
,
while
2018
Change preposition
in 2018
show examples
people
 spent less than 5
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 on that.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words families, money, percent, people with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "compare" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
▼

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