IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

the bar chart describe the percentage of peop by age groups using internet in the UK from 2003 to 2006

the bar chart describe the percentage of peop by age groups using internet in the UK from 2003 to 2006
#bar #percentage #peop #age #groups #internet #uk
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the given
Verb problem
The
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 bar chart provides information concerning the percentage of
peoples
Fix the agreement mistake
people
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 by
age
Use synonyms
Correct your spelling
groups
grups
Correct your spelling
groups
 using the
Use synonyms
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
 in the United Kingdom in four years from 2003 to 2006 generally speaking, the number of people using the
internet
Use synonyms
 in
United
Correct article usage
the United
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 Kindom shows an upward trend during the period. As presented in the bar chart, society in the
age
Use synonyms
 of 16-24 remained stable in
first
Correct article usage
the first
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 two years which is around 80% and
then
Linking Words
 rocketed to 100% in 2005 but suddenly decreased to 90%.
in
Change preposition
On
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 the other hand, the
adults
Correct quantifier usage
number of adults
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in
Change preposition
between
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 the
age
Use synonyms
 of 25-44 who
using
Change the form of the verb
use
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 the
Use synonyms
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
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 increased consistently from approximately 50% in 2003 to 80%
in
Change the preposition
at
show examples
 the end of the period. the
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
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of
Change preposition
apply
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45-54 and 55-64 have a similar trend with the younger one, but the
increased
Replace the word
increase
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 was
steadily
Replace the adverb
steady
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.
however
Linking Words
, there
was
Change the verb form
were
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 no oldest
peoples
Fix the agreement mistake
people
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 in
group
Add an article
a group
the group
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 of 65+
which
Correct pronoun usage
who
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using
Wrong verb form
used
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Use synonyms
Add an article
the internet
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internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
 in 2003, but
then
Linking Words
 in the next three years they started using
Use synonyms
Add an article
the internet
show examples
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
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 but in
the
Correct article usage
a
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 small percentage, just about 20% in 2006.
Overall
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
internet
Use synonyms
 usage in the United Kingdom
mostly
Add a missing verb
is mostly
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 dominated by teenagers
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
age
Replace the word
aged
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of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
16-24.
Submitted by wiworose on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words age, internet with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
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