SUCCESS IS OFTEN MEASURED IN TERMS OF HOW MUCH MONEY SOMEBODY HAS EARNED. DO YOU THINK WEALTH IS A GOOD MEASURE OF SUCCESS? HOW ELSE COULD WE MEASURE WHETHER SOMEBODY IS SUCCESSFUL OR NOT?
There are various means through which achievement is been measured.
However
some weigh successful Add a comma
However,
people
by the amount
of money
in their savings. In this
essay, I will explain why any
Correct quantifier usage
apply
money
should not be used to determine the level of success and also
discuss other ways an individual's wealth can be measured.
Generally speaking, many people
concluded that anybody with large
Add an article
a large
the large
amount
of fund
in his possession or bank account is considered to be successful, Fix the agreement mistake
funds
however
, the amount
of money
any person controls should not be a determinant of success. Accumulation of wealth is though
one of the Change preposition
apply
way
to measure and not the only standard Fix the agreement mistake
ways
to conclude
if any citizen has made it in life. Moreover
many individuals with lot
of Change the article
a lot
money
in their account
may have borrowed it from financial Fix the agreement mistake
accounts
institution
to execute one business or the other. The richest man in North Africa in the year 2005 Fix the agreement mistake
institutions
according to
forbes
categorization fell to number ten immediately Change the capitalization
Forbes
afterbbank
withdrew the Correct your spelling
after bank
after banks
money
lended
to him to discharge a national project.
Correct your spelling
lent
Although
people
's financial record is one of the measuring criteria, there are other ways achievement can be ascertained. The primary of them is considering individuals
investment in other sectors. Fix the agreement mistake
individual
Lot
of business Change the article
A lot
people
invest their capital to
various sectors as a way of putting their Change preposition
in
money
to work for them whereas
in their savings a very little
Correct word choice
small
amount
of money
is kept there. Secondly
, Analyzing asset
owned by Fix the agreement mistake
assets
people
is another way of checking to know how successful an individual is. Many people
use their money
to buy assets in the form of buildings in highly expensive areas, industries and companies are other forms of fix
assets that should be considered whether an individual is rich or not and not the statement of account.
In conclusion, Replace the word
fixed
although
many people
considered
financial capability as a means to measure Wrong verb form
consider
individual's
affluence, Correct article usage
an individual's
however
, assets and investments declaration are two better weighing
balances to pronounce Add a hyphen
better-weighing
success
of Correct article usage
the success
people
.Submitted by tunjosh2 on
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task achievement
Ensure that the essay stays on topic consistently, avoiding any tangential or unrelated information. The introduction should be more engaging and clearly outline the essay structure.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow by ensuring that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. Use connecting phrases and conjunctions to link ideas within and between paragraphs.
task achievement
Support your arguments with more specific examples and relevant data. Providing concrete evidence strengthens your position and makes your essay more convincing.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in framing the discussion on the topic.
task achievement
The writing generally addresses the prompt, giving a valid viewpoint that wealth should not be the only measure of success.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.