1.Some believe that more academic subjects such as chemistry, physics and history should be taught in schools, while others believe that students will derive more benefit from studying practical subjects, such as motor mechanics and cooking. Discuss both views and provide your own opinion with relevant examples.

Some people nowadays believe that
students
should be taught more
subjects
relating to theory and the academy,
such
as sciences, physics, etc.,
instead
of learning practical
subjects
. In my opinion,
due to
the development of knowledge and
both
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
daily skills, teachers have to orient
students
to improve their ability to
study
more in both practical and academic learning.
Firstly
, all the academic
subjects
play an important role in the student’s background. The theory provided by schoolmasters can help undergraduates approach world knowledge.
Moreover
, academic
subjects
can provide solutions for
students
in many fields,
such
as social, financial, and historical,  to create a wonderful knowledge foundation for scholars.
For example
,
although
some teachers haven’t been through any
study
training, they still follow some theories that they have developed from academic
subjects
.
On the other hand
, almost every school is now focusing too much on theoretical studies and forgetting to cultivate
alumnus’s
Fix the agreement mistake
alumni’s
show examples
practical skills. Many classes,
such
as sewing, making wood products, motor mechanics, etc., were opened for the same purpose: helping
students
with their future financial well-being. These lessons allow pupils to earn money for individual needs, whether they choose to continue
study
Wrong verb form
studying
show examples
college or pursue higher degrees or not.
For instance
, many
students
have their own jobs because of the practical skills they have learnt before. In fact, many studies found that 58
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
of graduates who
study
practical
subjects
become entrepreneurs, which means they are easier to find jobs than each other.
To conclude
, I think
students
could get
better
Add an article
a better
show examples
chance of success if they were taught both theoretical and practical
subjects
at the same time.
Submitted by dohuyhoang on

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coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow of ideas between paragraphs. For example, use transition words or phrases more effectively to connect ideas.
task achievement
Provide more specific and relevant examples to support each viewpoint for a stronger argument.
task achievement
Ensure each main point is thoroughly explained and expanded upon. Some points are briefly mentioned but not elaborated on.
task achievement
Your essay addresses both views and provides a clear opinion, which satisfies the prompt requirements.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion.
coherence cohesion
The structure of the essay is mostly logical, with separate paragraphs for each viewpoint and the conclusion.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • academic subjects
  • practical subjects
  • critical thinking
  • problem-solving skills
  • holistic education
  • curriculum
  • real-life challenges
  • job opportunities
  • foundations
  • professions
  • balanced approach
  • job market
  • demand
  • derive benefit
  • preparation
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