IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

You have moved to another city but your bank has your old address and continues to send all the communication there. Write a letter to your bank branch. In this letter: - Where have you moved to? - What problem are you facing regarding the bank's communication? What you want them to do regarding the old communication already sent to the wrong address?

#city #bank #address #communication #branch
Hello
Add the punctuation
Hello,
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 Sir or Madam, I am writing
this
 to express my concern over not updating my new home
address
 details for my HDFC banking account. Recently, I moved from Kanpur to Lucknow and, I updated my
address
though
Correct your spelling
through
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 the online portal service offered by
bank
Add an article
the bank
a bank
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. Somehow these
chnages
Correct your spelling
changes
 are not
refelected
Correct your spelling
reflected
 in
address
Correct article usage
the address
show examples
 section given for written
comminication
Correct your spelling
communication
 with the
bank
. My
pervious
Correct your spelling
previous
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 landlord informed me that
the
Correct article usage
apply
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HDFC
bank
Capitalize word
Bank
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 is still sending my banking documents like
monthy
Correct your spelling
monthly
 statement hardcopy, checkbooks to my old
residense
Correct your spelling
residence
. I have been doing banking with HDFC
bank
from
Change preposition
for
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last
Correct article usage
the last
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 five years never faced
such
issue
Correct article usage
an issue
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 earlier. I am looking for your
assistence
Correct your spelling
assistance
to update
Change preposition
in updating
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to
Change preposition
apply
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my
lucknow
Change the capitalization
Lucknow
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address
 for all communication channels for my baking account. Thanks in advance. Yours faithfully, Sandeep
Submitted by sandeepniet17 on

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task achievement
Ensure all sections of your letter are free from spelling mistakes, such as 'chnages' should be 'changes', 'comminication' should be 'communication', 'pervious' should be 'previous', 'monthy' should be 'monthly', 'residense' should be 'residence', and 'assistence' should be 'assistance'.
coherence cohesion
Consider breaking down some long sentences into shorter ones for improved readability. For instance, the first paragraph could be split after 'Lucknow'.
task achievement
The letter clearly states the reason for the move and the problem faced due to the address not being updated.
task achievement
Appropriate formal tone is maintained throughout the letter.
coherence cohesion
The letter has a logical structure with an opening greeting, a detailed body, and a closing thanks and sign-off.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph focuses on a single idea, such as the move, the problem, past experiences, and the request for assistance.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Relocation
  • Outdated information
  • Critical notifications
  • Sensitive documents
  • Data protection
  • Address verification
  • Notification retrieval
  • Account details
  • Immediate attention
  • Customer service
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