Nowadays many people to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?
It is obvious that
majority
of positions are possessed by aged Correct article usage
the majority
members
in society these days. While
senior members
have Correct article usage
the advantages
advantages
of experiences in their Fix the agreement mistake
advantage
specialty
Change the spelling
speciality
work
, I truly support young people
also
demonstrate better leadership.
Some Correct pronoun usage
who also
people
believe that old people
who possess occupation positions, have experiences
and Fix the agreement mistake
experience
work
better than young members
. They can make strategic decisions and impart feasible solutions in difficult situations, and through this
, they might bring financial benefit to their companies. As we all know, aged members
are dominant
layer in Correct article usage
the dominant
community
, and they are respected by all Correct article usage
the community
of
Change preposition
apply
people
, from young to old. Add an article
the people
In addition
, the assistants who might start to work
nearly
Correct your spelling
nearby
,
may ask for advice, Remove the comma
apply
directions
about their Correct word choice
and directions
works
. These directions may help them to exchange ideas, to continue their Fix the agreement mistake
work
work
better than they used to.
If we look at our surroundings, we can see that young people
learn new things eagerly, and they are really creative
than other old Correct quantifier usage
more creative
people
. The
period that Change preposition
In the
the
technology is developing, it is not hard to find young Correct article usage
apply
people
who are learning IT, coding, and possessing modern occupations. In addition
, youngsters get to know other colleagues quickly and they are good at working in groups. Another reason why I agree that
notion, youngsters Change preposition
with that
capable
of undertaking responsibilities and duties in their Add a missing verb
are capable
work
. If amount
of Add an article
the amount
works
or chores multiply, they can Fix the agreement mistake
work
work
long hours a day, it
is one of their advantages.
In Correct pronoun usage
which
conclude
, I truly agree Replace the word
conclusion
that
statement. Change preposition
with that
The society
should allow and support Correct article usage
Society
that
young Correct word choice
apply
people
can reveal their abilities.Submitted by muxtasar1004 on
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task achievement
Improve clarity and specific examples. For instance, mention specific scenarios where young people have demonstrated leadership or where old people’s experience played a crucial role.
coherence cohesion
Fix grammatical errors and awkward phrasing to make the text more fluid.
progression
Ensure all ideas are well-supported. Expand on brief statements to provide substantial backing to your claims.
task achievement
Balances the advantages of both older and younger people well.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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