For many young people today, shopping is their favourite free time activity. Why do you think this has happened? Should young people be encouraged to do different activities in their free time?

#people #favourite #time #activity #activities

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In my opinion, it might be true because for some reasons.

First,

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in the context of culture, different cultures might bring non-fit acts,

such

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as food and beverage, dressing style, language, etc.

Second,

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environmental damage, bad tourists might be harmful to

environment

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the environment

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by throwing trash anywhere, hurting animals, or breaking cultural

artifacts

Change the spelling

artefacts

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. But, I do believe that people tend to adjust themself to their environment. That's why it is important to give a general guideline in tourism areas, accessible information

centre

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centres

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and well-informed marketing campaigns.

Besides

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, we can set a regulation to make tourists align with our interests. We can design an immigration procedure, persuade tourists through a tourism area guide, and educate them with signage, brochures on the location, or interactive web information. In conclusion, by designing

Correct article usage

an approriate

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approriate

Correct your spelling

appropriate

policy, we can reduce the negative effects and gain many positive effects of tourism in our country.

Submitted by ash_shoffat on Wed May 22 2024

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task response

The essay needs a clearer response to why shopping is a favorite free-time activity for young people. Address this task more directly and provide specific reasons or examples.

coherence and cohesion

To improve coherence and cohesion, ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea that supports the thesis. Consider revising the essay structure to ensure logical flow of arguments.

task response

Expand on your ideas. Provide more detailed explanations and specific examples to support your points. This will help in making your arguments more compelling.

coherence and cohesion

Ensure conclusions are clearly linked to the main arguments of the essay. This will help in providing a strong, cohesive ending to your essay.

content

Good attempt at addressing potential cultural and environmental impacts of tourism. This shows a broad understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

4
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

5.5

Logical structure

6.5

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

146 words

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For many young people today, shopping is their favourite free time activity. Why do you think this has happened? Should young people be encouraged to do different activities in their free time?

Fully explain your ideas

Mobile phones should be banned in public places such as libraries and shops and on public transport. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Inorder to solve traffic problem, governments should tax private car owners heavily and use their money to improve public transportation. what are the advantages and disadvantages of such solutions

Some people think that museums should be enjoyable places to entertain people, while others believe that the purpose of museums is to educate. Discuss both views and give you own opinion.