Some people consider playing sports is beneficial for schoolchildren. Some, however, believe sport activities also have some drawbacks. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of children playing sports.

Sports
are one of the activities that have not been fading throughout
the
Correct article usage
apply
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time.
However
, it is thought by some people that
sports
will bring advantages to the children in schools
while
others believe that it offers a number of downsides to the kids. In
this
essay, both advantages and disadvantages will be discussed before reaching a conclusion. On the one hand, it is undeniable that playing
sports
in schools provides children with numerous benefits, and one of the most significant plus
effect
Change to a plural noun
effects
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is health. To elaborate
further
, students who play
sports
everyday
Replace the word
every day
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such
as soccer, basketball, tennis, etc. always have
a
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apply
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good physical health; stay in shape, stay fit and away from getting sick.
Furthermore
, kids can find these
sports
as the outlets for
stresses
Fix the agreement mistake
stress
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which they get from learning and studying.
For example
, when I was a child, I played football with my friends after finishing all of my classes without fail.
As a result
, I found myself stronger, my muscles were toning up and always had a positive mindset.
On the other hand
, there are several drawbacks that
sports
offer to young people, and the most crucial is bad learning. What
this
means is youngsters might play
sports
before attending classes which in turn makes them feel sleepy and lose their focus on what teachers are teaching.
In addition
, If they catch up with injuries, youths need to take a leave which sometimes weeks or months leading to they cannot
catch
Wrong verb form
catching
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up with the lessons.
For instance
, my secondary school friend religiously played basketball
in
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during
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the lunch break and when our afternoon classes started, he always fell asleep.
Besides
, there was a time when his leg was broken, and he needed to take a leave for three weeks in order to recover. After coming back, he did not grasp what
teacher
Correct article usage
the teacher
show examples
was saying.
Overall
, it is a fact that
sport
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sports
show examples
activities can provide both advantages and disadvantages to students depending on how much they play. They might get injuries if it is too excessive, but if it is not, these activities will bring tremendous plus effects to the children.
Submitted by nnatthinee on

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task achievement
Your essay effectively addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of children playing sports, utilizing personal examples and logical reasoning. However, try to provide more varied and specific examples to strengthen your points further.
coherence and cohesion
To enhance coherence, consider using more varied linking words and phrases to connect your ideas smoothly and improve the logical flow of your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are well-framed, providing a clear opening and summarizing the key points effectively.
coherence and cohesion
You have organized your paragraphs logically, with each paragraph clearly focusing on either the advantages or the disadvantages of children playing sports.
task achievement
Your essay presents clear ideas and provides relevant examples, which illustrates your points adequately.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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