IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Art classes, such as painting and drawing, are as important for children's development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high school. Do you agree or disagree?

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Many believe that artistic courses like painting or drawing ,
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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play as important a role as other main
subjects
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 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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high schools. From my point of view ,
although
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this
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 course can be
growth
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a growth
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to
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for
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 children , they should only be
option
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an option
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 in their curriculum. It is vital to understand the variety of artistry of the children who certainly have special abilities in different fields , including
art
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.
This
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 is because the knowledge of drawing or painting can belong to talent or passion . Indeed, a range of
art
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 academics is established that meet customers' need to study. By attending these classes,
students
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 have more chances not only a better understanding of others’ emotions but
also
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 development of his or her emotional intelligence. The
significant
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significance
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 of
art
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-based
subjects
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 is
also
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 as great as that of English and other languages because all enable the learners to better express their ideas, either using verbal communication
such
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 as speaking or non-verbal channels like the way they sketch their characters or using colour patterns.
On the other hand
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, no matter how important these
subjects
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 are, rendering them compulsory may adversely impact
students
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 in many ways.
Firstly
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, not every student is enthusiastic about
art
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, which causes
this
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 subject to become a source of boredom and stress when
students
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 are forced to learn it.
This
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 amount of time could have been
otherwise
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 allotted for other classes that they are more interested in so that they could make full use of their time for what they like.
Secondly
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, should
art
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 be obligatory at school,
students
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 who are not artistically gifted may have great difficulty achieving good grades
at
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in
show examples
this
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 subject. It is not easy for everyone to improve their artistic skills for a short period of time, which may negatively affect the
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students’
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student’s
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 GPA
at the end
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 of the term. In conclusion, despite being as beneficial to a student’s growth as other
subjects
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,
art
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 courses should not be seen as compulsory.
Instead
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, it is necessary for schools to find out what their
students
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 are best at so that they can fully develop their potential.

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task response
The essay addresses the task prompt but could benefit from an improved introduction and conclusion. The introduction should provide a clearer overview of the central argument, and the conclusion needs to summarize the key points more effectively.
coherence and cohesion
Improve coherence by ensuring that each paragraph has a clear and distinct main idea. This can be achieved by using more effective topic sentences and linking phrases. Consider more transitions between points to make the flow smoother.
task response
While the essay is logically structured, some ideas are not fully supported. Adding more specific examples and evidence to back up your points will strengthen the arguments.
task response
The essay makes relevant points about the importance of art and how making it compulsory could affect students differently. This shows a balanced understanding of the topic.
task response
The writer presents a nuanced perspective, acknowledging the importance of art while also considering the practical implications of making it mandatory.
coherence and cohesion
The points are generally logical and well-reasoned, demonstrating a clear train of thought.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cognitive development
  • Visual-spatial skills
  • Fine motor skills
  • Emotional expression
  • Creative thinking
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Cultural awareness
  • Historical context
  • Interpersonal skills
  • Teamwork
  • Collaboration
  • Self-esteem
  • Sense of accomplishment
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