IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

art classes, such as paintings and drawing, are as important to a child's development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree?N

#art #classes #paintings #child #development #subjects #schools #n
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Nowadays,
art
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 classes are the compulsory subject for
students
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 in many schools.
However
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, it is often argued whether
this
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 subject
bevome
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become
becomes
 crucial,
discipclines
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disciplines
discipline
disciplined
 at school. I totally agree
for
Change preposition
with
show examples
child's
Correct article usage
a child's
show examples
overall
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 development, and
this
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 essay will elucidate my
sessertions
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assertions
 in the
forth coming
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forthcoming
show examples
 paragraphs. On one hand,
art
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 and craft bring about creativity in an individual's skill in life.
Therefore
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,
let
Wrong verb form
letting
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children
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 get in touch with these aspects can increase their cognitive abilities and creative
skills
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.
Children
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 can easily relieve stress after studying main subjects
such
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 as math, physics,.. In
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this
Correct determiner usage
these
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 lessons, they just
healing
Wrong verb form
heal
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 and let their soul flow with their
drawings
Change noun form
drawing's
drawings'
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image
Fix the agreement mistake
images
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.
For instance
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, some international
school
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schools
show examples
 in Vietnam added
this
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 method
in
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to
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 their teaching programme.
Moreover
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, it can control their thoughts better and improve their imagination.
In addition
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 to developing important
skills
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,
art
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 class can provide
students
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 with an outlet for self-expression and a sense of accomplishment. For many
students
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,
art
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 is a really useful method to
communitcate
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communicate
 with each other and show their emotion.
Furthermore
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, it can
pratice
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practice
children
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 to learn new
skills
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 from their partner. Making
art
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 compulsory can help
children
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 develop a greater appreciation for the arts, and provide them with a sense of pride and satisfaction in their work. In conclusion,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
beliwve
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believe
 that
art
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 classes are important for
young-people's
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young people's
show examples
 development. By providing
students
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 with the
apportunity
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opportunity
 to develop important
skills
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, express themselves creativity, and broaden their perspective.
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grammar
Ensure to proofread your essay to correct spelling and grammatical errors (e.g., 'bevome' should be 'become', 'sessertions' should be 'assertions', and 'pratice' should be 'practice').
task achievement
Try to support your main points with more detailed and specific examples. This will provide a stronger argument for your assertions.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving the logical flow of your essay. Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next and fully develops one main idea at a time.
task achievement
Your essay effectively acknowledges the importance of art in cognitive and creative development.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, and you have made a clear stance on the topic.
task achievement
You have mentioned specific benefits of art, such as stress relief and self-expression, which are well-aligned with your position.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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