IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The plans below show the ground floor of a library in 2001 and how it was developed in 2009. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Contained in two illustrations is information pertaining to the transformation of a library's ground floor between 2001 and 2009. From an observational perspective, there has been an increase in the book categories
whereas
Linking Words
 new public amenities were added.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the two facilities in the vicinity of the entrance and the entrance itself remained intact. Beginning with the left wing, there used to be self-help and history books on the shelf but now, they were downsized to make place for 4 extra categories. At the back of the building, the fiction materials were replaced by children's literature, and
together with
Linking Words
 the space in front of it, formed a children's area.
Moreover
Linking Words
, there was a removal of the old tables at the centre of the plan to install new bigger tables. Moving onto the right-hand side, the newspapers and periodicals site was converted into an area for films and DVDs
while
Linking Words
beside
Replace the word
besides
show examples
 that, two computers were installed. Turning back to the front of the hall, the stairs in the bottom right corner and the librarian's desk stayed the same.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
The essay could benefit from a brief introduction and a conclusion to encapsulate the overall changes more effectively. A one or two-sentence overview before diving into the specifics would enhance clarity.
coherence cohesion
Consider a more organized structural approach, breaking the areas of change into separate paragraphs more distinctly. This would enhance logical progression and readability.
coherence cohesion
Provide transition words or phrases to connect ideas more smoothly. This would improve the flow and make the text easier to follow.
task achievement
The essay covers all key changes made between 2001 and 2009 comprehensively, providing specific examples to illustrate these changes clearly.
coherence cohesion
The text is generally well-organized, and the main points are effectively supported with relevant details from the plans.
task achievement
The vocabulary and grammar are used correctly throughout, and the overall style is appropriate for the task.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • ground floor
  • library
  • development
  • combined space
  • versatile
  • entrance
  • layout
  • restructured
  • reading/study area
  • computer area
  • technological advancements
  • digital resources
  • dedicated
  • community engagement
  • bookshelves
  • multifunctional spaces
  • media area
  • incorporating
  • information
  • entertainment resources
What to do next:
Look at other essays: