Some think that these environmental problems are too big for individuals to be solved. While other think that individual can not solve these environmental problems unless governments make some action. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
It is sometimes argued by some that environmental issues are huge for
individuals
to tackle it
,Correct pronoun usage
apply
while
others believe that only authorities can help in solving this
problem. Although
,
Remove the comma
apply
individuals
can not solely mitigate environmental problems however
, I believe Add the comma(s)
, however
governments
officials can impose laws to Change the noun form
government
punished
those who destroy the Earth.
Wrong verb form
punish
One
the one hand, Correct your spelling
On
individuals
can not only protect our natural environment because one person will have the desire to protect the vegetation for future generations, while
another person does not care about destroying the Earth for his or her own benefits
. Fix the agreement mistake
benefit
For example
, in Ghana, a lot of people
know that mining near rivers is bad ,but they still do this
activity because they earn more money. As a result
, this
will become very difficult for environmental activists to solely fight against pollutions
in Fix the agreement mistake
pollution
the
society.
Correct article usage
apply
On the other hand
, I am in
support that Verb problem
apply
unless
those in higher Correct word choice
apply
position
can curb environmental pollution because they can enact laws to punish Fix the agreement mistake
positions
people
who causes
destruction to the vegetation. Change the verb form
cause
This
will serve as deterrent
to others. To illustrate, when the legislatures in Ghana, Add an article
a deterrent
make
a law to jail Wrong verb form
made
individuals
who uses
chemicals for fishing for Change the verb form
use
15years
. Correct your spelling
15 years
This
rule has helped to stopped
Change the verb
stop
this
act. If the government had not made that decision, all aquatic species will
have become extinct . Wrong verb form
would
Besides
the chemicals used for
Change preposition
apply
also
causes
health problems Correct subject-verb agreement
cause
to
humans. Change preposition
for
Moreover
, government officials can educate the public the
importance of protecting the Earth via television,radio and newspapers .
In conclusion, even though Change preposition
on the
individuals
cannot solve environmental pollution alone. However
, in my opinion, I think people
in power can make rules and regulations to prevent people
from destroying the environment.Submitted by boadimaxwell48 on
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Coherence and Cohesion
The essay's logical structure is generally clear, but transitions between ideas can be smoother. Using linking words and phrases more effectively would enhance coherence.
Task Achievement
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on one main idea and that this idea is fully expanded and supported. The essay has good examples, but the main points could be developed in more depth.
Coherence and Cohesion
Try to use a more formal academic style. Avoid contractions and ensure that the language is varied and appropriately academic. Some sentences can be refined for clarity and precision, especially complex ideas.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, which effectively frame the discussion on the topic.
Task Achievement
The response addresses the task effectively, with a balanced discussion of both views and a well-stated opinion.
Task Achievement
Relevant and specific examples are provided, illustrating the points effectively.