Some think that these environmental problems are too big for individuals to be solved. While other think that individual can not solve these environmental problems unless governments make some action. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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It is sometimes argued by some that environmental issues are huge for

individuals

Use synonyms

to tackle

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

while

Linking Words

others believe that only authorities can help in solving

this

Linking Words

problem.

Although

Linking Words

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

individuals

Use synonyms

can not solely mitigate environmental problems

Linking Words

however

Add the comma(s)

, however

show examples

, I believe

governments

Change the noun form

government

show examples

officials can impose laws to

punished

Wrong verb form

punish

show examples

those who destroy the Earth.

One

Correct your spelling

show examples

the one hand,

individuals

Use synonyms

can not only protect our natural environment because one person will have the desire to protect the vegetation for future generations,

while

Linking Words

another person does not care about destroying the Earth for his or her own

benefits

Fix the agreement mistake

benefit

show examples

For example

Linking Words

, in Ghana, a lot of

people

Use synonyms

know that mining near rivers is bad ,but they still do

this

Linking Words

activity because they earn more money.

As a result

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

will become very difficult for environmental activists to solely fight against

pollutions

Fix the agreement mistake

pollution

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, I

am in

Verb problem

apply

show examples

support that

unless

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

those in higher

position

Fix the agreement mistake

positions

show examples

can curb environmental pollution because they can enact laws to punish

people

Use synonyms

who

causes

Change the verb form

cause

show examples

destruction to the vegetation.

This

Linking Words

will serve as

deterrent

Add an article

a deterrent

show examples

to others. To illustrate, when the legislatures in Ghana,

make

Wrong verb form

made

show examples

a law to jail

individuals

Use synonyms

who

uses

Change the verb form

use

show examples

chemicals for fishing for

15years

Correct your spelling

15 years

This

Linking Words

rule has helped to

stopped

Change the verb

stop

show examples

this

Linking Words

act. If the government had not made that decision, all aquatic species

will

Wrong verb form

would

show examples

have become extinct .

Besides

Linking Words

the chemicals used

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

also

Linking Words

causes

Correct subject-verb agreement

cause

show examples

health problems

Change preposition

for

show examples

humans.

Moreover

Linking Words

, government officials can educate the public

the

Change preposition

on the

show examples

importance of protecting the Earth via television,radio and newspapers . In conclusion, even though

individuals

Use synonyms

cannot solve environmental pollution alone.

However

Linking Words

, in my opinion, I think

people

Use synonyms

in power can make rules and regulations to prevent

people

Use synonyms

from destroying the environment.

boadimaxwell48Wed May 22 2024

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Coherence and Cohesion

The essay's logical structure is generally clear, but transitions between ideas can be smoother. Using linking words and phrases more effectively would enhance coherence.

Task Achievement

Ensure that each paragraph focuses on one main idea and that this idea is fully expanded and supported. The essay has good examples, but the main points could be developed in more depth.

Coherence and Cohesion

Try to use a more formal academic style. Avoid contractions and ensure that the language is varied and appropriately academic. Some sentences can be refined for clarity and precision, especially complex ideas.

Coherence and Cohesion

The essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, which effectively frame the discussion on the topic.

Task Achievement

The response addresses the task effectively, with a balanced discussion of both views and a well-stated opinion.

Task Achievement

Relevant and specific examples are provided, illustrating the points effectively.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
23
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

6.5

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

280 words

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