Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a/qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Nowadays, pupils
are interest
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are interested
show examples
to learn
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in learning
show examples
various
subjects
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in addition
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to their main field.
Although
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some individuals believe that
students
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should concentrate on their main courses to become
expert
Fix the agreement mistake
experts
show examples
in a specific subject, in the modern days it is necessary to be
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multi task
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multi-task
show examples
person and have
knowledge
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about various
fields
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, and I believe that learning different
fields
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can help
students
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to
gain
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suitble
Correct your spelling
suitable
job opportunities. Many people and teachers believe that when
students
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select a subject they should be
commitment
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committed
show examples
to
Use synonyms
gain
Wrong verb form
gaining
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more
knowledge
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about the field.
In other words
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, they should not waste their time on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
other topics and it
culminate
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culminates
show examples
in deep learning about their main subject. Another reason that people have
this
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idea is
disturbance
Add an article
a disturbance
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that the other
fields
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Correct your spelling
cause
cuase
Correct your spelling
cause
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
. By focusing on
Use synonyms
multi
Correct word choice
multiple
show examples
subjects
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not only do
students
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spend their time on different tasks, but
also
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their
mind
Fix the agreement mistake
minds
show examples
become more busy about different
subjects
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.
For instance
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, in the US universities do not allow
students
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particularly
Fix the infinitive
to particularly
show examples
work after their academic
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
show examples
and they
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
that pupils should focus
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
their main
fields
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.
While
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,
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apply
show examples
it may affect their performance, learning different topics can form
students
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for
future
Correct article usage
the future
show examples
because
companies
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need staff who have
knowledge
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about various
fields
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due to
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their widespread business.
On the other hand
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, having
knowledge
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about various
fields
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is thought to be necessary to achieve promotion and success in professional life. There is no doubt that
companies
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would rather employ a person who is
expert
Correct article usage
an expert
show examples
in both main and side
fields
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because he can do various tasks in the company.
Moreover
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, if they focus on different
subjects
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during the academic life their personalities
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
formed as
Use synonyms
multi task
Add a hyphen
multi-task
show examples
individuals.
For example
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, many
companies
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which work in
oil
Correct article usage
the oil
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field would prefer to employ graduated
students
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who not only do they have suitable
knowledge
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about their
filed
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field
show examples
not have
best
Change the article
the best
show examples
score in their main major, but
also
Linking Words
have
knowledge
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about data science and can speak fluent
english
Change the capitalization
English
show examples
. In my opinion, doing different activities during academic life can increase our
experinces
Correct your spelling
experience
and can impress
companies
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to employ us. In conclusion,
although
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sopm
Correct your spelling
some
people believe that
students
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should focus on their main major to avoid any disturbance and
gain
Use synonyms
high
score
Fix the agreement mistake
scores
show examples
, in the
moder
Correct your spelling
modern
era, being
Use synonyms
multi task
Add a hyphen
multi-task
show examples
person is a basic demand to
gain
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more achievement in
the
Change the word
their
show examples
careers and I believe that it
cna
Correct your spelling
can
help
students
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to
fin
Correct your spelling
find
show examples
suitable jobs easily.
Submitted by hadadianmohamadhossein on

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grammar
Check for grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. Using varied sentence structures and avoiding minor mistakes will help enhance the overall quality of your writing.
examples
Try to provide more specific and varied examples to substantiate your arguments. This would add depth and clarity to your essay.
coherence
Make sure your ideas are clearly and logically connected. Using more linking words and phrases can help to improve the coherence of your argument.
structure
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear and distinct main idea, and that this main idea is directly related to the essay question.
objective
You provided a balanced discussion of both views, outlining reasons for each perspective before giving your own opinion.
conclusion
Your conclusion effectively summarized your main points and reiterated your stance on the subject.
task response
The essay shows a good understanding of the topic and provides a reasonable response to the question.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Broaden
  • Perspectives
  • Specialize
  • Critical thinking
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Career success
  • Interdisciplinary connections
  • Structured path
  • Clear goals
  • Creativity
  • Innovation
  • Academic credibility
  • Recognition
  • Balance
  • Exploring
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