Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a/qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Nowadays, pupils
are interest
Change the verb form
are interested
to learn
various Change preposition
in learning
subjects
in addition
to their main field. Although
some individuals believe that students
should concentrate on their main courses to become expert
in a specific subject, in the modern days it is necessary to be Fix the agreement mistake
experts
multi task
person and have Add a hyphen
multi-task
knowledge
about various fields
, and I believe that learning different fields
can help students
to gain
suitble
job opportunities.
Many people and teachers believe that when Correct your spelling
suitable
students
select a subject they should be commitment
to Replace the word
committed
gain
more Wrong verb form
gaining
knowledge
about the field. In other words
, they should not waste their time on the
other topics and it Correct article usage
apply
culminate
in deep learning about their main subject. Another reason that people have Change the verb form
culminates
this
idea is disturbance
that the other Add an article
a disturbance
fields
Correct your spelling
cause
cuase
Correct your spelling
cause
of
. By focusing on Change preposition
apply
multi
Correct word choice
multiple
subjects
not only do students
spend their time on different tasks, but also
their mind
become more busy about different Fix the agreement mistake
minds
subjects
. For instance
, in the US universities do not allow students
particularly
work after their academic Fix the infinitive
to particularly
times
and they Fix the agreement mistake
time
belive
that pupils should focus Correct your spelling
believe
in
their main Change preposition
on
fields
. While
,
it may affect their performance, learning different topics can form Remove the comma
apply
students
for future
because Correct article usage
the future
companies
need staff who have knowledge
about various fields
due to
their widespread business.
On the other hand
, having knowledge
about various fields
is thought to be necessary to achieve promotion and success in professional life. There is no doubt that companies
would rather employ a person who is expert
in both main and side Correct article usage
an expert
fields
because he can do various tasks in the company. Moreover
, if they focus on different subjects
during the academic life their personalities is
formed as Change the verb form
are
multi task
individuals. Add a hyphen
multi-task
For example
, many companies
which work in oil
field would prefer to employ graduated Correct article usage
the oil
students
who not only do they have suitable knowledge
about their filed
not have Correct your spelling
field
best
score in their main major, but Change the article
the best
also
have knowledge
about data science and can speak fluent english
. In my opinion, doing different activities during academic life can increase our Change the capitalization
English
experinces
and can impress Correct your spelling
experience
companies
to employ us.
In conclusion, although
sopm
people believe that Correct your spelling
some
students
should focus on their main major to avoid any disturbance and gain
high score
, in the Fix the agreement mistake
scores
moder
era, being Correct your spelling
modern
multi task
person is a basic demand to Add a hyphen
multi-task
gain
more achievement in the
careers and I believe that it Change the word
their
cna
help Correct your spelling
can
students
to fin
suitable jobs easily.Correct your spelling
find
Submitted by hadadianmohamadhossein on
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grammar
Check for grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. Using varied sentence structures and avoiding minor mistakes will help enhance the overall quality of your writing.
examples
Try to provide more specific and varied examples to substantiate your arguments. This would add depth and clarity to your essay.
coherence
Make sure your ideas are clearly and logically connected. Using more linking words and phrases can help to improve the coherence of your argument.
structure
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear and distinct main idea, and that this main idea is directly related to the essay question.
objective
You provided a balanced discussion of both views, outlining reasons for each perspective before giving your own opinion.
conclusion
Your conclusion effectively summarized your main points and reiterated your stance on the subject.
task response
The essay shows a good understanding of the topic and provides a reasonable response to the question.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.