more houses are needed in many countries to cope with increasing populations.Some people believe it would be better to build house in existing town and cities while others thnk that the government should develop new towns in rural areas.Discuss both view and give your opinion.

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A significant number of countries are facing the necessity
build
Fix the infinitive
to build
show examples
more
houses
to accommodate the booming population.
Although
some people argue that constructing
houses
in existing
towns
and urban
areas
would be preferable others advocate for government-led development of new
towns
in rural
areas
In my
perspectives
Fix the agreement mistake
perspective
show examples
,
while
urbanizing rural
areas
has some drawbacks, constructing more
houses
in existing
towns
and cities has more disadvantages.
Firstly
,developing new
towns
in the countryside can lead to a lack of public security. The establishment of new
towns
often involves the conversion of agricultural land owned by rural residents.the government does not compensate these residents adequately for the confiscation of their farmland dissatisfaction may arise,leading to political unrest on
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
various.
Additionally
,developing new
towns
in rural
areas
can threaten traditional cultural jobs.
In particular
, the emergence of new
labor
Change the spelling
labour
show examples
markets may overshadow these traditional occupations, gradually eroding local cultural identities.
On the other hand
, constructing more
houses
in existing
towns
and urban
areas
contributes to worsening traffic congestion. When new
houses
are built in cities more people are likely to move there , resulting in more
transports
Fix the agreement mistake
transport
show examples
and increased congestion.
As a result
, it will take longer commute times and higher rates of noise pollution. Another negative
aspectof
Correct your spelling
aspect of
building
houses
in urban
areas
is the deterioration of air quality,leading to a huge number of health risks like lung cancer,
tuberculosis
Correct word choice
and tuberculosis
show examples
to city dwellers. In conclusion, both urbanizing in the countryside and constructing more
houses
in urban
areas
,
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
own consequences.
However
, erecting more
houses
in existing cities and
towns
has more negative outcomes.
This
approach exacerbates traffic congestion and
worsen
Change the verb form
worsens
show examples
air quality, posing significant challenges to urban living.
Submitted by nguyentungchi345 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure your essay follows a clear logical structure. Make sure each paragraph flows logically from one to the next, and that each sentence within those paragraphs follows logically too. This will make your arguments more compelling and easier to follow.
task achievement
It's important to support your points with specific examples. Providing concrete examples can strengthen your arguments and make them more convincing. For instance, mention specific instances where rural development has led to social unrest or where urban housing has caused ecological problems.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which provides a nice structure for the reader. This shows a solid understanding of essay writing principles.
task achievement
You've covered both viewpoints of the argument, which demonstrates a balanced perspective. This is critical for fulfilling the task achievement component of your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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