IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Open plan offices offer a better working environment for staff than a normal office. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Open plan
office
Use synonyms
 helps in providing
effective
Add an article
an effective
show examples
 and better working environment for staff as
compare
Change the form of the verb
compared
show examples
 to
normal
Add an article
a normal
show examples
office
Use synonyms
. I completely agree
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
this
Linking Words
 notion
Linking Words
due to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 certain reasons which are highlighted
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
below paragraphs.
Normal
Correct article usage
The normal
show examples
office
Use synonyms
 concept
got
Verb problem
has
show examples
 separate cabins which need much
space
Use synonyms
whereas
Linking Words
open
Correct article usage
the open
show examples
 plan
office
Use synonyms
 concept means respective individual small cubicles for each staff member.
This
Linking Words
 type of plan
require
Change the verb form
requires
show examples
 less
space
Use synonyms
 where more people can work together which ultimately
result
Correct subject-verb agreement
results
show examples
 being a
cost effective
Add a hyphen
cost-effective
show examples
office
Use synonyms
space
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
,
construction
Correct article usage
the construction
show examples
 of separate cabins
need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
show examples
 more money and more
space
Use synonyms
,
therefore
Linking Words
, it would certainly put more burden on
budget
Add an article
the budget
show examples
. As it is widely known, effective communication between team members is crucial for running
business
Add an article
a business
the business
show examples
 of any kind. With cubicles, team members are more open to each other and can communicate easily and more effectively which will be beneficial for
company
Correct article usage
the company
show examples
 and
employees
Use synonyms
 as well.
Moreover
Linking Words
, with open
space
Use synonyms
 as depicted in surveys,
output
Add an article
the output
show examples
 of
employees
Use synonyms
 is 35% more than
normal
Change preposition
in normal
show examples
 offices
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
because of better monitoring
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
employees
Use synonyms
 and motivation to work which they get from each other. In conclusion, I would like to
reitrate
Correct your spelling
reiterate
 that normal offices are less effective as
compare
Change the form of the verb
compared
show examples
 to open
Use synonyms
office
Fix the agreement mistake
offices
show examples
 as these
Use synonyms
office
Change the determiner
offices
show examples
 are not
cost effective
Add a hyphen
cost-effective
show examples
,
also
Linking Words
,
working
Add an article
the working
show examples
 output of
employees
Use synonyms
 is less which are crucial aspects for any successful company.

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coherence cohesion
The essay should maintain consistent use of grammatical structures and vocabulary. There are several places where improvements can be made to ensure clarity and accuracy. For example, phrases like 'open plan office helps' should be 'open plan offices help,' and 'compare to' should be 'compared to.'
task achievement
While the essay covers the topic adequately, consider introducing more specific details and examples to fully substantiate the points being made. This could include real-life examples of companies that have successfully implemented open plan offices and their results.
coherence cohesion
It's important to maintain a logical flow of ideas through the essay. Try to ensure that each paragraph links seamlessly to the next. Additionally, each main point should be well-developed with clear supporting sentences.
task achievement
The essay successfully addresses the topic and provides relevant reasons and examples to support the writer's viewpoint.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clear and provide a strong framework for the essay.
task achievement
The use of statistics and survey data to support arguments adds credibility to the points being made.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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