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Writing Samples /
Band 3

Write about the following topic. Traditions are about the past and innovation is about the future, and it has been argued that we need to let go of traditions for the sake of progress. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this? What role should traditions have in our lives? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

#topic #traditions #innovation #future #sake #progress #role #lives #minutes
In recent years, innovation
is
Wrong verb form
has been
show examples
 widespread in our daily lives. It has been argued that we should abandon the
traditions
 so as to
stike
Correct your spelling
strike
 for development in the future. In my opinion,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
diasgree
Correct your spelling
disagree
 with
this
 point of view. I believe that
traditions
has
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have
show examples
 played
an
Change the article
a
show examples
 vital
roles
Correct the article-noun agreement
role
show examples
 in our
socity
Correct your spelling
society
 so
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
we should not get rid of crucial
tranditions
Correct your spelling
traditions
transitions
. One of the significant importance of
traditions
 is that
people
 could maintain their relationships by celebrating
tranditions
Correct your spelling
traditions
.
For instance
, in Chinese
tranditions
Correct your spelling
traditions
tradition
, families and relatives get used to
gather
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gathering
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in
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at
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festivals
such
 as Chinese New Year. Gathering with families and relatives,
people
 are more likely to communicate with each
others
Change to a singular noun
other
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, which
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 important for
people
 to maintain their relationships. Another reason is that some
traditions
is
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are
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 beneficial to the growth of
people
, which help
people
 to
development
Replace the word
develop
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
superior
personailties
Correct your spelling
personalities
.
For example
, in China, respecting elderly
people
 is one of the considerable
traditions
.
Ifa
Correct your spelling
If
 elderly
people
 get on a train, passengers will actively give a seat to them.
As a result
,
people
 are educated to be more
thoughful
Correct your spelling
thoughtful
,
buliting
Correct your spelling
building
 a moral concept in their minds. By way of
conculsion
Correct your spelling
conclusion
, I believe that
that
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
traditions
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 played
an
Change the article
a
show examples
 vital
roles
Correct the article-noun agreement
role
show examples
 in our
socity
Correct your spelling
society
 so that we should not give up any crucial
tranditions
Correct your spelling
traditions
transitions
.
Submitted by asllchkied on

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Task Response
The essay should provide a clearer and more nuanced argument. Currently, it offers basic points, but it lacks depth. Ensure that each point is thoroughly explained and supported with more detailed examples.
Coherence and Cohesion
Organize the essay better by improving the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs. Use linking words and phrases to guide the reader through your arguments more clearly.
Language Accuracy
Pay attention to grammar, punctuation, and spelling. Ensure sentences are complete and well-structured. This will make the essay easier to read and understand.
Structure Highlight
The introduction and conclusion are present, providing a basic structure for the essay.
Content Highlight
The essay touches on relevant aspects of the topic, including the importance of traditions in maintaining relationships and moral education.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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