many chilren are encouraged by their parent to get a part time job. what are the advantages and disadvantages to children doing so?
It is widely believed that working
Change preposition
at on
on
early Correct your spelling
an
ages
could be prolific for Fix the agreement mistake
age
children
. Many families, therefore
, motivate their young ones to land a part-time job
. Clearly, there are both merits and demerits to this
matter.
The advantages of pupils' employment are seen by some to be significant. One obvious advantage is that they would benefit personally in that they might get familiar with the work atmosphere. In other words
, they may attain some new skills, one of which, is the ability to be a good team player which is a must in the job
market. There could be a further
advantage to working of
the young, owing to the fact that they might learn the value of money. Change preposition
for
This
awareness is achieved when children
realize how hard one should work to get paid which is not possible unless they endeaver
the difficulties of earning money. Correct your spelling
solve
It is clear that
it is just half of the picture. This
matter should be considered on a broader canvas.
There are, however
, certain disadvantages to children
's working. Considering How stressful it could beChange preposition
in a
a
workplace, youngsters may possibly suffer mentally. SinceCorrect article usage
the
,
they are young, they might take Remove the comma
apply
job
challenges way to
seriously. They, Correct your spelling
too
additionally
, do not have any experience in handling work pressure. therefore
, some mental adverse effects would be inevitable. There seems also
to be another disadvantage. when the young are taken on for a position, they will be in contact with individuals of various ages which might contribute to learning about subjects that youngsters are not ready to receive. An example to illustrate this
is subjects related to adults which could spoil children
's thoughts toward their parents.
To conclude
, the truth is that the young working in part-time occupations could be fruitful in terms of preparation for the job
market and monetary matters. So, this
is a great way to broaden overall
experience and knowledge. However
, we should not lose sight of the fact that there might be consequences which affect pupils' attitudes and mental health.Submitted by h.safaralizade on
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task achievement
The essay provides a complete and relevant response to the task prompt, discussing both advantages and disadvantages of part-time jobs for children. However, try to incorporate more specific examples to strengthen points.
task achievement
The ideas are clear and comprehensive. To enhance this even further, ensure that each point is fully explained and supported by evidence or examples.
coherence cohesion
While the essay maintains a logical structure overall, try to ensure smoother transitions between some paragraphs to improve the flow.
coherence cohesion
The introduction effectively sets up the topic, and the conclusion summarizes the key points well. Ensure that both the introduction and conclusion are concise and directly related to the main body of the essay.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that all main points are well-supported with details or examples, which would make the arguments more persuasive.
task achievement
The essay covers the task requirements thoroughly, addressing both advantages and disadvantages of part-time jobs for children.
coherence cohesion
Main points are clearly presented and relevant to the topic.
coherence cohesion
Introduction and conclusion are both present and well-articulated, framing the essay effectively.
Your opinion
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