IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Many processed foods and ready-made meals contain preservatives and chemicals. What are the advantages to this? Do you think that advantages outweigh the disadvantage?

#foods #meals #preservatives #chemicals
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most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
ready_made
Correct your spelling
ready-made
 meals and
fridge_foods
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fridge foods
 have preservatives and chemical materials.
these
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These
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foods
 are very
dangerouse
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dangerous
 for health,
as well as
 it
cousing
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causing
 fat because almost these
foods
 are
fatty_food
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fatty foods
due to
 their
callories
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calories
. nowadays, all
of
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apply
show examples
people
Add an article
the people
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 are busy because of modern society and
luxury
Replace the word
luxurious
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 lives.
Hence
 , they
dont
Correct your spelling
don't
 have enough time for making food on a daily basis.
therefore
 , they
force
Wrong verb form
are forced
show examples
 to buy ready food and eat that as soon as possible.
Accordingly
 , they get fat and
creat
Correct your spelling
create
show examples
 many
healt
Correct your spelling
health
 problems for them.
on the other hand
 , children eat fast food and it may be
habit
Add an article
a habit
show examples
 for them
that is
 very bad since
,
Remove the comma
apply
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healthy
foods
 are essential for them.
it is clear that
 ready_meals are very available and easy to eat.
furthermore
 , these
foods
dont
Correct your spelling
don't
 need to
cook
Wrong verb form
be cooked
show examples
. but , as you know those are not good for our physics. on the ground that we get fat and
outweight
Correct your spelling
our weight
 is a serious problem.it is my notion that
,
Remove the comma
apply
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disadvantages
Correct article usage
the disadvantages
show examples
 of ready_foods are more
that
Correct word choice
than
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advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages
show examples
 of that.
nevertheless
Capitalize word
Nevertheless
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, it can be useful sometimes. in conclusion , ready
foods
 are unhealthy ,
conversely
Add a comma
conversely,
show examples
 those are good when we
hav
Correct your spelling
have
 nit any time for cooking.
Submitted by rastaebrahimifar on

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coherence cohesion
There are numerous grammatical errors and awkward expressions that make some parts of the essay difficult to understand. Consider using more precise vocabulary and improving the structure of your sentences to ensure your ideas are clearly communicated.
coherence cohesion
The essay begins with a brief introduction, but it could be more clearly articulated. Including a more formal introduction and conclusion would enhance the overall structure.
task achievement
While you have addressed the question, your argument is not consistently supported by relevant examples. Including more specific examples and elaborating on your points more thoroughly would improve the essay.
task achievement
You have identified both advantages and disadvantages of processed foods and ready-made meals, which shows a balanced understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
The essay includes an introduction and a conclusion, which helps in providing a complete response to the question.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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