IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The plans below show the layout of a public library now, and how it will look after development.

#plans #show #layout #library #development
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The illustration shows the floor plans of a public
library
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 now and after its intended development.
Overall
Linking Words
, it’s a one-floor
library
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 and has steps leading up to the
entrance
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. The main difference is that the
library
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 currently has one large
room
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 and will be extended to the east, roughly doubling its size. After the extension, on the east side of the
library
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, there will be a new
entrance
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 into a kid’s
area
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 where the kid’s books will be moved, and additional seating will be added. To the south of the kid’s
area
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 will be a computer
room
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, and to the north will be a store and a staff
room
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 with its own staff
entrance
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. The existing
room
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, to be considered the main
area
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, will be narrower
due to
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 an internal wall constructed from the north to the south end of the building. The male and female restrooms, original
entrance
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, and sections for romance and thriller will all remain unchanged within
this
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area
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.
However
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, the seating, fantasy and mystery sections will be moved closer to the west side of the building to accommodate the changes.
Submitted by brightstargalaxy on

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task achievement
The essay clearly describes the major changes in the library layout, which shows a good grasp of the task. To improve, you might consider providing a more explicit comparison of the current and future layouts to further enhance the clarity of your response.
coherence cohesion
While your essay is generally well-organized, adding headings or clear paragraph breaks could improve its readability. Ensure that each section of the essay flows logically into the next to maintain coherence.
coherence cohesion
Though the essay is mostly well-structured, a brief conclusion summarizing the key points would enhance the overall structure and leave a lasting impression on the reader.
task achievement
The essay provides clear and detailed descriptions of the changes, demonstrating strong task achievement.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is generally easy to follow, with effective use of language to describe the proposed layout changes.
task achievement
The use of specific examples, such as the relocation of the kid’s books and the creation of a computer room, helps to clearly convey the planned changes.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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