The line graph shows the average number of weekly patients visiting four clinics of a hospital from 2010 to 2016.

#line #patients #four #clinics

The feature

illustrate

Change the verb form

illustrates

show examples

the data that contained the amount of weekly

patients

Fix the agreement mistake

patient

show examples

encouragement for clinics in a hospital between 2010 and 2016.

Overall

it can be seen that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

eye

patients

got

Verb problem

apply

show examples

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

increased and

reach

Wrong verb form

reached

show examples

the highest number in 2016, whilst in 2010

diabetic

Fix the agreement mistake

diabetics

show examples

keep

Wrong verb form

kept

show examples

the lowest number and

got

Verb problem

apply

show examples

climb

Wrong verb form

climbed

show examples

up after that. Birth control and dental

also

soared

too

Rephrase

apply

show examples

. Beginning with the

people

got

problem

Fix the agreement mistake

problems

show examples

with

Correct pronoun usage

their eye

show examples

eye

Fix the agreement mistake

eyes

show examples

, it

start

Wrong verb form

started

show examples

at around 125

people

in 2010 and

then

rised

Correct your spelling

raised

rose

rise

significantly to 350

person

Change to a plural noun

people

show examples

in 2016. Moving onto

diabetic

Replace the word

diabetes

show examples

, those

people

begin

Wrong verb form

began

show examples

at nearly 60

people

in 2010, which was the lowest

Change preposition

apply

show examples

in four clinics

then

it got fluctuation until 2014 and

begin

Wrong verb form

began

show examples

climbed

Change the verb

climb

show examples

up steadily to 175

patients

in 2016. Turning to the remaining statistic, it can be observed that dental got a deep from 100 to approximately 115

patients

between 2010 and 2014, before it increased slightly to around 145

patients

in 2016. Moving onto birth control, which got the highest started in 2010 at nearly 350 sick

people

it’s

Unnecessary verb

show examples

also

went up slowly to 2012 until it dropped considerably to around 170

people

and

come

Wrong verb form

came

show examples

back

Change preposition

show examples

nearly 250

patients

in 2016.

Sat May 25 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".

▼

Introduction: The introduction is missing.

▼

Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

▼

Contractions: Don't use contractions.

▼

Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words patients, people with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "climb" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 3 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.

▼

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
25Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

197 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5.5
band
Education and health care should be funded by the government and free for everyone. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Education and health care service are considered to be the necessity for everyone as it is their right to receive the same amount of quality and service. This essay agrees that government should provide free access of education and health care to its people as it could reduce unemployment as well as improve everyone's well-being.
5
band
It is said that music is important for bringing people together from different cultures and ages. Do you agree or disagree?
Music is a miracle .it is common language of the people of the world that human can connect together through its .I think, exactly melody can create condition that race , appearance and color are unimportant jute they want enjoyable the tone .Music is ancestors heritage that we can use musical for different subject such as, it can apply treatment of depression ,dancing , you can be a mentor music and learn it to men ,it can use in different ceremony while you choose your ton according to rite , you can learn instrument and play it and create wonderful music even you can exploit the most growing plant or for a person can sleep better . It has a lot of applications and different styles such as classic ,pop , local , rock … that they choose style according to their manner .
5
band
In many countries today, both men and women need to work full time. Therefore, some people think men and women should share household takes equally (eg. cleaning and looking after children). To what extent do you agree or disagree?
There is no doubt that nowadays both parents are working full time to provide basic needs to their children namely foods, medical care, housing and education. Therefore, in term of household , some might argue that this task should be equally divide by two parties or just maintaining on the traditional beliefs. In my perpective, I totally agree with the statement above which I will explain in the next paragraph.
6
band
It is becoming increasingly popular to have a year off between finishing school and going to university. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?
In the present time, there is a trend to take a gap year after finishing school, rather than go to the following studies, such as university or college. There are several advantages of taking a period off; for instance, an opportunity to relax or a chance to take time to decide, who you want to be. In contrast, there is a huge problem, like the difficulty of getting into a good university after the year off. As far as I can see, the disadvantages of that outweigh the positive effects.
5
band
Some people think that newspaper are the best way to learn about the news. However, others believe that they can learn the news more effectively through other media. Discuss both these news and give your own opinion.
In contemporary society, because of immense advances of technology, there is no denying that social media plays an important role to communities such as learning news. Therefore, some people think that the best way to study the news is the newspaper, however; others believe that other media are more efficient than paper when they want to learn. This essay will discuss both sides of the controversial issue, and my opinion will be provided.

The line graph shows the average number of weekly patients visiting four clinics of a hospital from 2010 to 2016.

Education and health care should be funded by the government and free for everyone. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

It is said that music is important for bringing people together from different cultures and ages. Do you agree or disagree?

In many countries today, both men and women need to work full time. Therefore, some people think men and women should share household takes equally (eg. cleaning and looking after children). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is becoming increasingly popular to have a year off between finishing school and going to university. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

Some people think that newspaper are the best way to learn about the news. However, others believe that they can learn the news more effectively through other media. Discuss both these news and give your own opinion.