IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below show percentage of water used in different sectors in Sydney, Australia in 1977 and 2007.

The chart below show percentage of water used in different sectors in Sydney, Australia in 1977 and 2007.
#show #percentage #water #sectors #sydney #australia
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The pie charts compare portions of
water
 used in various sections in Sydney and Australia in 1997 and 2007.
Overall
,
it is clear that
 Sydneysiders and Australian people spent the largest proportion of
the
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water
on
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in
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food
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the food
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industry
 and
lowest
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the lowest
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 proportion used
on
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in
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building
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the building
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industry
 in 1997 and 2007. In 1997, the greatest proportion of spending
water
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on water
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 was on the food
industry
, which represented 48% of the total expenditure and
2007
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in 2007
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 it was slightly lower, at 41%. In terms of the service
industry
, in 1997 people spent 13% of
water
 and
2007
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in 2007
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 it was almost doubled, at 25%. Sydneysiders and Australian people spent
the
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water
 for manufacturing, at 5% in 1997 and it
was
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moderately declined,
at
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to
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 2% in 2007. Regarding
the
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household uses, the total expenditure was just 19% in 1997 and the figure for
this
 category
was
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slowly increased,
at
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to
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 21% in 2007.
Moreover
, the
figure
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figures
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 for
the
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manufacturing for both years were relatively similar, at 15% in 1997 and 11% in 2007.
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words water, industry with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • water consumption
  • percent
  • sector
  • domestic
  • industrial
  • agriculture
  • comparison
  • trends
  • decrease
  • increase
  • significant
  • resource management
  • sustainability
  • efficiency
  • conservation
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