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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below show the percentage of the labour force by occupation in Japan and India in 1960 with projection for 2040.

The charts below show the percentage of the labour force by occupation in Japan and India in 1960 with projection for 2040.
#show #percentage #labour #force #occupation #japan #india #projection
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The charts
provides
Change the verb form
provide
show examples
 information concerning the population in
Japan
Use synonyms
 divided by age from 1960 until today as well as
it's
Correct your spelling
its
show examples
 projection until 2040. Generally speaking,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Japan
Use synonyms
's resident was dominated by
adult
Fix the agreement mistake
adults
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 in the range
at
Change preposition
of
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 15 to 64 years
during
Correct word choice
old during
show examples
 the period. In detail, approximately 65 of
percent
Use synonyms
 people who lived in
Japan
Use synonyms
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
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 about 15 to 64 years old
this
Linking Words
 number have A
slightly
Change the word
slight
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 decrease
a
Correct article usage
apply
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until 2020 and will
be remain
Change the verb form
remain
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 stable until 2040, which is about 55
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the child under 14 years
who
Correct word choice
old who
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living
Change the form of the verb
live
show examples
Change preposition
apply
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in
Change preposition
apply
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there was around 30
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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 in 1960 and
leveled
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levelled
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 off to 12
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percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 and
forecasted
Add a missing verb
is forecasted
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 to
10
Add a missing verb
be 10
show examples
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
in
Change the preposition
at
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 the end of the period. unlike the others, the
live
Replace the word
lives
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 of
elderly
Correct article usage
the elderly
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 in
Use synonyms
japan
Capitalize word
Japan
show examples
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
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consistently growing from only 5
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in 1960 to 30
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percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 and 35
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percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in 2020 and 2040, respectively.
overall
Linking Words
, in 2040 as
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
predicted
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
, the folks in
Use synonyms
japan
Capitalize word
Japan
show examples
 will be 55
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 adults, 35
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 elderly and 10
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 kids.
Submitted by wiworose on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words japan, percent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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