young people often influenced in their behavior by others in the same age group. Some argue that peer pressure is important while others feel it has distinct disadvantages. Do the disadvantages of peer pressure outweigh the advantages?
There was a controversial
heating up
debate over the Add a hyphen
heating-up
pressure
of teenagers. While
some claim that stress acts as
a crucial Verb problem
plays
role
in young people
, the opposite makes a statement that it has a clear drawback. This
phenomenon has both pros and cons.
Firstly
, there are
a wide range of positive notions in interacting with their friends. Change the verb form
is
Tobe
more specific, young Correct your spelling
To be
people
usually take others as role
models as a result
they have more motivation in their life. Moreover
, when peers provide positive role
models, their counterparts tend to experience enhancements in their academic performance as well as
their social development. For instance
, watching someone who earns a scholarship can promote
teenagers to be more diligent in their studies.
Verb problem
encourage
On the other hand
, the number of young people
under pressure
from academic results is significantly higher, which can have some negative influence. In particular
, students frequently feel obligated to earn high grades and maintain a comparable level of academic performance as their classmates and are motivated by the demand
of their parents. Fix the agreement mistake
demands
For example
, students try to do their best for
study to prepare for their academic performance, which can lead to autism, depression and overthinking Change preposition
to
as a result
they can be think to make away with themselves. Hence
, being under pressure
is negative for young people
.
In conclusion, the debate over the influence of peer pressure
on teenagers is a complex issue with both pros and cons. While
peer role
models can inspire academic and social growth, excessive pressure
to conform and achieve can also
have detrimental effects on young people
's mental health and well-being.Submitted by hominhtrang995 on
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complete response
Aim to provide more specific examples to better illustrate your points. For instance, mentioning specific studies or real-life scenarios can help strengthen your argument.
clear comprehensive ideas
Ensure that all ideas are clearly explained and developed. There was a slight lack of clarity in some arguments which could be enhanced with clearer transition words and phrases.
supported main points
The essay presents both sides of the argument effectively, discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of peer pressure.
logical structure
There is a logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which helps in following the flow of ideas.
introduction conclusion present
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion that frames the discussion well.
Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic
IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.
Answer structure for the type of essay
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – advantages
- Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- The main advantage is...
- The disadvantage of this...
- The main benefit...
- Despite these advantages...
- One possible drawback...