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Band 6.5

The line graph below gives information on cinema attendance in the UK.

The line graph below gives information on cinema attendance in the UK.
#line #information #cinema #attendance #uk
The graph gives information about the
percentage
o
Change preposition
of
show examples
 British people
went
Correct pronoun usage
who went
show examples
 to watch movies from 2000 to 2015.
Overall
, the
percentage
 of people in all age
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
show examples
 approximately increased during
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 certain period and the data fluctuated. There is an obvious feature that as people became older, they had
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 lower possibility to go to cinema. Specifically, the
percentage
 of 15-
24-years-old
Correct your spelling
24-year-olds
 was the highest from 15% in 2000 to more than 50% in 2015 and a fluctuation can be seen in the period around 2010. In the five years after 2010, the figure decreased to less than 40% and
then
climeb
Correct your spelling
climbed
 up to its peak at almost 60%. In the remaining age groups, the
percentage
 of them was between nearly 3% to 40%. Significantly, the figures for
Correct article usage
the 7-14-years-old
show examples
7-14-years-old
Correct your spelling
7-14-year-old
 and 25-35-years-old
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
show examples
 was equal to each other at approximately 31% in 2015.
Furthermore
, it was obvious that the figure for
35
Correct article usage
the 35
show examples
 and over group was always the lowest from almost 1% in 2000 to nearly 13% in 2015.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "gives" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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