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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The table below shows the percentage of adults in urban and rural areas who took part in four free time activities in 1990 and 2010. Summarize the information and compare where relevant, by selecting and reporting the key features.

The table below shows the percentage of adults in urban and rural areas who took part in four free time activities in 1990 and 2010. Summarize the information and compare where relevant, by selecting and reporting the key features.
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The table chart illustrates data about the rate of the 4 different hobbies namely reading, animated play, playing and photography of the adults
people live
Wrong verb form
living
show examples
 in
city
Correct article usage
the city
show examples
 and village in 1990 and 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be easily seen that the total proportion of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
photography and animated play
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 the lowest in 1990 and
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
2010 respectively. It is observed that the most popular activity was reading for both time and area.
However
Linking Words
, the rate of reading for adults who live in rural
place
Fix the agreement mistake
places
show examples
slightly
Add a missing verb
was slightly
show examples
 higher than
urban
Change preposition
in urban
show examples
places'
Change noun form
places
show examples
71
Change preposition
at 71
show examples
% and 61% respectively in 1990 but these rates were exactly the same in 2010
by
Change preposition
at
show examples
 78%. The preferences
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
playing in cities
drop
Wrong verb form
dropped
show examples
 to 14%
although
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 activity
rate's
Change the noun form
rates
rate
show examples
 was
stabile
Correct your spelling
stable
show examples
 in villages by 26%.
However
Linking Words
, the percentage of adults in urban and rural
place
Fix the agreement mistake
places
show examples
 who
Add a missing verb
are interest
show examples
interest
Replace the word
interested
show examples
with
Change preposition
in
show examples
 photography remarkably increased to 14% and 24% namely in the given period.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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