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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The chart below shows the changes in the percentage of households with cars in one European country between 1971 and 2001. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.

The chart below shows the changes in the percentage of households with cars in one European country between 1971 and 2001. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.
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The
given
Verb problem
apply
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bar chart illustrates the changes in the proportion of
car
Use synonyms
ownership
Use synonyms
 in
households
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 in a European region from 1971 to 2001.
Overall
Linking Words
, it could be observed that
car
Use synonyms
ownership
Use synonyms
 showed an upward trend through 30 years, with the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
families
Use synonyms
 who have
one
Use synonyms
 or two
cars
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increased
Wrong verb form
increasing
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 significantly,
while
Linking Words
 the
proportions
Fix the agreement mistake
proportion
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 of homes
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
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 do not have any
car
Use synonyms
 declined steadily. When it came to 2001,
families
Use synonyms
 with
one
Use synonyms
car
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 had the highest
percentage
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. As can be seen in 1971,
households
Use synonyms
 without
cars
Use synonyms
 ranked in the first position with 48%, which was followed by
families
Use synonyms
owned
Correct pronoun usage
who owned
show examples
one
Use synonyms
car
Use synonyms
, at 36%, and the lowest
one
Use synonyms
 was homes
owned
Correct pronoun usage
that owned
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 two
cars
Use synonyms
 with
the
Correct article usage
a
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percentage
Use synonyms
at
Change preposition
of
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 18%. Moving to 1981, it could be seen that
households
Use synonyms
 without
cars
Use synonyms
 still had the highest
percentage
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 but it had decreased to 41%, which was the same trend with
families
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 who had
one
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car
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, its proportion went down slightly to 35% in 1981.
However
Linking Words
, homes who owned two
cars
Use synonyms
 exhibited an upward trend which was risen dramatically from 18% in 1971 to 28% in 1981. Regarding
at
Change preposition
apply
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the remaining figures with the proportions of
car
Use synonyms
ownership
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 in 1991 and 2001, the
percentage
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 of
household
Fix the agreement mistake
households
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 without
cars
Use synonyms
ending
Wrong verb form
ended
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 at roughly 30% in both 1991 and 2001,
while
Linking Words
 single
car
Use synonyms
households
Use synonyms
 had
its
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
percentage
Use synonyms
 increased significantly from 35% in 1981 to 48% in1991, but it had been declined after 10 years to 42% in 2001.
Finally
Linking Words
, dual
car
Use synonyms
ownership
Use synonyms
 experienced a decline and rose in proportion over 20 years, from 28% in 1981 to 21% in 1991,
then
Linking Words
 rising from 21% to 30% in 2001.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words car, ownership, households, percentage, families, one, cars with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "changes" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 6 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "declined" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significantly" was used 2 times.
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