Many different countries have most shops and products as the same. Some consider it a positive development, whereas others consider it negative. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

It is true that the trend of various merchants which have the same function from many businesses
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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occurred in some nations.
While
advocates argue that
this
is a positive signal, others assert the contrasting ideas and
this
essay will discuss both views. One possible good point for
this
kind of development is that available commodities which have well-qualified certifications allow consumers to give their preference.
Such
a variety of options could expand the market, facilitating the economic growth to be stimulated and the government to solve the unemployment issue. For instance, the popular typical choices of rice in Vietnam can provide not only customers with exposure to fresh merchants but
also
employees with permanently well-paid jobs. Another point to discuss is that diverting various products towards one particular merchant would align with the nation’s purpose to create an exclusive supplement place for the world. If that way comes true, that will be practical to generate enormous revenue and boost the nation’s
finance
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finances
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. Notwithstanding, negative impacts on that orientation should be worth mentioning. The first point asserted by opponents is that the limitation of common products could lead to a surge in customers’ demand. if they go to a store which just serves a typical product, it is absolutely a disaster, resulting in
a
Remove the article
apply
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dissatisfaction with purchasing commodities.
However
,
this
issue could be easily addressed by importing necessary and crucial goods from other nations, which both
satisfies
Correct subject-verb agreement
satisfy
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the demand
in
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for
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casual life
service
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services
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and
improves
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improve
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citizens’ physical and mental health.
To sum up
, the appearance of common goods with the same type as each other has happened in many countries in recent years.
Although
there are negative arguments that it can result in the poverty of merchants, I firmly support the idea
due to
the various options for consumers and the creation of a unique trading area.
Submitted by alicema0503 on

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task achievement
Ensure a clear and concise thesis statement in the introduction. This helps in giving a direction to the essay.
task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples to support your points. For instance, naming specific brands or companies when discussing common products could make your argument more concrete.
coherence cohesion
You can improve the coherence by using transition words and phrases more effectively. This helps in making the essay flow better.
coherence cohesion
Be careful with word choice and sentence structure. Some sentences are a bit convoluted and may confuse the reader.
task achievement
Your essay effectively discusses both sides of the argument, which is essential for a balanced discussion.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clearly present and provide a good start and end to your essay.
task achievement
You have used relevant examples to support your ideas, which strengthens your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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