Some people think that the main purpose of schools is to turn children into good citizen and worker, rather than to benefit them as individuals. To what extend do you agree or disagree?
It is discussed that the
schools
' priority is to guarantee that children will become good citizens and workers, rather than to benefit them as individuals. This
writer quitely
disagrees with Correct your spelling
quite
this
statement and will explain why in the following essay.
To begin
, schools
play an important role in teaching and training children. On
the classes and lectures children can acquire knowledge about social values and norms that will help them with making relationships and contributing to society positively in the future. Change preposition
In
For instance
, by learning and expericencing
essential skills and circumstances, students can cultivate their morality to become good residents. Correct your spelling
experiencing
However
,some contend that schools
should prioritize individual development over civic education. They believe that citizenship education can occur outside formal schooling.
Schools
should provide opportunities for students to explore their interests, passions, and talents. Learning for the sake of personal growth and fulfillment
is equally important.
Change the spelling
fulfilment
However
, critics argue that schools
often prioritize standardized testing and rigid curricula, limiting students’ ability to explore diverse subjects and develop their unique abilities.
In summary, the purpose of schools
is multifaceted, and striking a balance between individual growth, civic engagement, and practical skills remains a challenge. Ultimately, schools
should aim to create well-rounded individuals who can maximize their potential, contribute to society, and appreciate diverse perspectivesSubmitted by [email protected]
on
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task achievement
Your essay could benefit from a clearer thesis statement in the introduction to set the stage for your argument. Make sure your position is explicitly stated.
coherence cohesion
Proofread the essay to fix minor grammatical errors and awkward phrases. For example, 'This writer quitely disagrees' should be 'I strongly disagree'.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples and evidence to support your main points. For instance, explain more about how schools can and do balance individual development with civic preparation.
coherence cohesion
Ensure your paragraphs clearly link back to your main argument. Each paragraph should have a clear topic sentence that connects to the thesis.
coherence cohesion
Expand on your conclusion to more thoroughly summarize your main points and reinforce your argument, ensuring it is compelling and comprehensive.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which gives it a structured framework.
task achievement
The student makes an effort to address multiple sides of the argument, which shows a balanced approach.
task achievement
The essay acknowledges counterarguments, which strengthens the overall discussion.
coherence cohesion
Vocabulary and sentence structures are varied, enhancing readability.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.