IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

The charts below show the percentage of their food budget the average family spent on restaurant meals in different years. The graph shows the average number of meals eaten in fast-food restaurants and sit-down restaurants per family. Summarize1 the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make compari sons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

The charts below show the percentage of their food budget the average family spent on restaurant meals in different years. The graph shows the average number of meals eaten in fast-food restaurants and sit-down restaurants per family. Summarize1 the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make compari sons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.
#show #percentage #food #budget #restaurant #meals #years #fast-food #restaurants #summarize1 #information #features #compari #sons
The pie diagram illustrates the proportion of expenditures on both restaurant and home cooking and the line chart presents the number of two different methods chosen by citizens from 1970 to 2000 with ten-year intervals.
Overall
,
it is clear that
, except the
last
 year, people mostly spend their money on home cooking.
Moreover
, citizens decide to sit at restaurants in the first half of the record and fast
food
 is preferable to
sitdown
Correct your spelling
sit down
show examples
 in the second half.
To begin
 with, the fraction of
food
Correct article usage
the food
show examples
 budget on restaurant meals in 1970 was a nominal 10% and minimally increased by 5% in the next ten
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
.
Besides
, it noticeably shot up to 35% in 1990 before escalating and arriving at one-half in the year 2000.
On the other hand
, the trajectory of both fast
food
 and sitdown were reversed, they started at the same number which was at 20 and it
further
 widened to nearly 25 and 35 respectively. A cross was seen between around 1983 when the fast
food
 surged to approximately 38 and the sitdown unnoticeably inclined to the same level.
Finally
,
two
Correct article usage
the two
show examples
 of them went up and reached their peaks at 90 and 50 in 2000.
Submitted by nnatthinee on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words food with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: