The chart and graph below give information about three categories of workers in Australia and the unemployment levels within those groups.

The chart and graph below give information about three categories of workers in Australia and the unemployment levels within those groups.
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The pie chart shows the percentage of
people
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sorted by place of birth from the
workforce
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in
Australia
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in 2003
while
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the line graph depicts the percentage of unemployed
people
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by place of birth in
Australia
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from 1993 to 2003.
Overall
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, It can be seen that the majority of the
workforce
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were Australians. It can
also
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be confirmed that the unemployment rate of all three groups declined over the decade. Beginning with the
workforce
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in 2003,
people
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who were born in
Australia
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took up to three-quarters of the
workforce
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while
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workers who were born in non-English-speaking countries (N.
E
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.S.
C
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.) took up to 14 per
cent
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and the remaining ten per
cent
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were residents of English-speaking countries (
E
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.S.
C
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.) Turning to the remaining line graph, since 1993, the unemployment rate of the N.
E
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.S.
C
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. group had a considerable fall from nearly seven per
cent
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to slightly three over half the period and
then
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fluctuated from there until the end. Meanwhile, two groups of
people
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who were born in
Australia
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and
E
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.S.
C
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. slightly declined from approximately four per
cent
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to about two per
cent
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after ten years passed.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words people, workforce, australia, e, c, cent with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "declined" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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