The chart and graph below give information about three categories of workers in Australia and the unemployment levels within those groups.

The chart and graph below give information about three categories of workers in Australia and the unemployment levels within those groups.
The pie chart shows the percentage of
people
sorted by place of birth from the
workforce
in
Australia
in 2003
while
the line graph depicts the percentage of unemployed
people
by place of birth in
Australia
from 1993 to 2003.
Overall
, It can be seen that the majority of the
workforce
were Australians. It can
also
be confirmed that the unemployment rate of all three groups declined over the decade. Beginning with the
workforce
in 2003,
people
who were born in
Australia
took up to three-quarters of the
workforce
while
workers who were born in non-English-speaking countries (N.
E
.S.
C
.) took up to 14 per
cent
and the remaining ten per
cent
were residents of English-speaking countries (
E
.S.
C
.) Turning to the remaining line graph, since 1993, the unemployment rate of the N.
E
.S.
C
. group had a considerable fall from nearly seven per
cent
to slightly three over half the period and
then
fluctuated from there until the end. Meanwhile, two groups of
people
who were born in
Australia
and
E
.S.
C
. slightly declined from approximately four per
cent
to about two per
cent
after ten years passed.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words people, workforce, australia, e, c, cent with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "declined" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.

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