IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the percentage of the population in the UK who consumed the recommended daily amount of fruit and vegetables in 2002, 2006 and 2010.

The chart below shows the percentage of the population in the UK who consumed the recommended daily amount of fruit and vegetables in 2002, 2006 and 2010.
The given chart illustrates the percentage of the UK population meeting the recommended daily intake of fruits and
vegetables
Use synonyms
 over a span of eight years, specifically in 2002, 2006, and 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, the proportion of all groups consuming fruit and
vegetables
Use synonyms
 increased over the given period.
Beside
Replace the word
Besides
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 that,
women
Use synonyms
 came out first to
eating
Wrong verb form
eat
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 these foods
Linking Words
while
Correct word choice
apply
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unlike
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
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children.
According to
Linking Words
given
Correct article usage
the given
show examples
 chart, in 2002, approximately a quarter of
women
Use synonyms
 in the United Kingdom ate the recommended amount of fruit and
vegetables
Use synonyms
. It was a
follow
Change the verb form
following
show examples
 trend by almost %22 of men eating these foods daily which was two times higher than children. Over the time period which has been 8 years, the percentages for all groups increased to reach peaks in 2006
which
Correct word choice
when
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 the proportion of
women
Use synonyms
were
Change the verb form
was
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 highest, at 32%. By 2010, the percentage of
women
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, men and children consuming fruit and
vegetables
Use synonyms
 decreased to 27%, 24% and 14%.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words vegetables, women with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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