The chart and table show working hour and salary for 4 different occupationa. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main feature, and make comparison where relevant.

The chart and table show working hour and salary for 4 different occupationa. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main feature, and make comparison where relevant.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The bar graph illustrates the weekly working hours of four different occupations and the table presents
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
information
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
the income of each job per year.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
nurses spend time per week working the most
while
Linking Words
teachers
Use synonyms
work the least compared to others.
Moreover
Linking Words
, a job that earns the highest annual salary is the
police
Use synonyms
whilst
teachers
Use synonyms
get the lowest.
To begin
Linking Words
with, the number of hours worked
of
Change preposition
by
show examples
nurses was approximately a massive 55 followed by fire service which was just under 40. A meagre gap was seen between the firefighter and the
police
Use synonyms
, roughly at a meagre 5.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
teachers
Use synonyms
came in
last
Linking Words
place and accounted for 30. What is interesting to note is the nurse's working hours more than
teachers
Use synonyms
almost by a half.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the earnings per year of
police
Use synonyms
service was 52,050 more than fire service by nearly 4,000. Nurses and
teachers
Use synonyms
were at 37,450 and 33,600 respectively.
Finally
Linking Words
, What is surprising to see is that the
police
Use synonyms
's income is higher than
teachers
Use synonyms
around 1.5 times.
Submitted by nnatthinee on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words teachers, police with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Occupations
  • Salaries
  • Working hours
  • Average
  • Annual
  • Comparison
  • Discrepancies
  • Professions
  • Doctors
  • Teachers
  • Engineers
  • Retail workers
  • Balanced
  • High-paying
  • Low-paying
What to do next:
Look at other essays: