Many young people do not spend their holidays and weekends doing outdoor activities like hiking and climbing in natural environments.
Nowadays, most young
people
do not spend their leisure time and vacations in outdoor activities
like hiking and climbing in surroundings
. Correct article usage
the surroundings
This
essay will discuss the reasons for this
statement and suggest good solutions.
Many young people
individuals prefer indoor activities
such
as play phone
and watching entertainment content on various social Fix the agreement mistake
phones
medias
. Correct your spelling
media
One
of the main reason
can be that, nowadays,different modern technologies and gadgets are very developed. Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
One
of the other reason is most young people
attached
to the Add a missing verb
are attached
phone
because their parents giving
them a Wrong verb form
give
phone
from an early age. One
more reason can be
Wrong verb form
is
the
, most young Correct your spelling
that
people
interested
Add a missing verb
are interested
and
Change preposition
in and
loved
to Replace the word
love
the
play various Correct article usage
apply
phone
games and watch different videos on social medias
.
On the flip side, young individuals face health issues Correct your spelling
media
due to
their sedentary lifestyle. To prevent this
, parents should supervise their children and teach them to go outdoor
more and do various Replace the word
outdoors
activities
.Showcasing success stories of individuals who have transformed their lives through outdoor activities
can serve as powerful motivation.Moreover
, education systems can add exercising
Replace the word
exercise
activities
for young people
, this
may encourage students to spend more time exercising. The most prominent one
is to encourage them to play in open-air places. Playing in parks improve
Correct subject-verb agreement
improves
people
's health and it's
Change the verb form
it also gives
also
gives brilliant and
opportunities to socialize with other Correct word choice
apply
people
.
In conclusion, there are many reasons for young people
prefer staying indoor
rather than exercising outdoors. To stem Correct your spelling
indoors
this
, young people
should be inspire
Change the verb form
be inspired
be inspiring
in
outdoor Change preposition
by
activities
.Encouraging a balance between virtual connectivity and real-world exploration can lead to a healthier.Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on
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coherence cohesion
Work on improving your logical structure by ensuring that each paragraph has a clear central idea and flows smoothly from one to the next.
task achievement
Provide more detailed and specific examples to support your points, making your essay more compelling and informative.
general
Ensure that your grammar and sentence structures are varied and accurate, as some parts of the essay contain minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasing.
organization
The essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, which shows good organizational skills.
task achievement
You have touched on a variety of relevant points, including the influence of technology and the potential health benefits of outdoor activities.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.