With divorce rates and family breakdowns increasing globally, it is generally accepted that families today are not as close as they used to be. Discuss the causes of this problem and offer some possible solutions to it.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The increasing numbers of divorces and couple separations are happening
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
global scale
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
indicates the fact that
families
' atmospheres are not as warm as before.
Although
there are root causes behind
this
issue, some policies can be applied to remedy the problem. There are two main reasons why unsuccessful marriages have been increased.
Firstly
, people are struggling with financial problems more than
last
decade. The expensive fees for renting or buying a place, high banks' interest, and mortgages
as well as
the sharp
rising
Replace the word
rise
show examples
of home appliances and goods prices, put
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
extra pressure on
families
to manage their expenses. A salient example is that, in some developing countries people cannot afford to buy
basic
Correct article usage
the basic
show examples
needs of their children like clothes and appropriate meals.
Secondly
, because of
Correct article usage
the developing
show examples
developing
Replace the word
development
show examples
social
Change preposition
of social
show examples
media applications, couples have been targeted for more betray and
affair
Fix the agreement mistake
affairs
show examples
which in turn ruin a lot of marriages. The first workable solution is that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
governments should apply some policies to support
families
in the different areas of demand.
For instance
, they can provide interest-free or low-rate interest loans for buying homes and households.
This
will assist couples to get some
reliefs
Fix the agreement mistake
relief
show examples
regarding
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
main expenses and decrease their fear of financial failure. Another viable solution is that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
people should spend more time with their
families
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
different
ocassions
Correct your spelling
occasions
locations
and gatherings
instead
of wasting time
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
social media and
distructive
Correct your spelling
destructive
relations. By way of conclusion, considering the points discussed above, there are different reasons why
families
are not as close as they used to be like
economical
Replace the word
economic
show examples
difficulties and
distructive
Correct your spelling
destructive
relations in social media. There are some viable solutions including
support
Correct article usage
the support
show examples
of governments for funding
as well as
building a family environment.
Submitted by tahani.nr on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

grammar
Make sure to proofread your essay for minor grammatical errors and typos. Correcting errors like 'workable solution is that, governments' to 'workable solution is that governments' and 'regarding to main expenses' to 'regarding main expenses' will improve clarity.
task achievement
Provide more specific details and examples to strengthen your points. Although you have mentioned financial issues and social media influence, offering specific case studies or statistical data could make your argument more compelling.
task achievement
The essay addresses the prompt effectively, offering both causes and solutions for the issue of family breakdowns.
coherence and cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is clear, with each paragraph focusing on a single main idea that supports the overall argument.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: