IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

With divorce rates and family breakdowns increasing globally, it is generally accepted that families today are not as close as they used to be. Discuss the causes of this problem and offer some possible solutions to it.

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The increasing numbers of divorces and couple separations are happening
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
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 global scale
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 indicates the fact that
families
Use synonyms
' atmospheres are not as warm as before.
Although
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 there are root causes behind
this
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 issue, some policies can be applied to remedy the problem. There are two main reasons why unsuccessful marriages have been increased.
Firstly
Linking Words
, people are struggling with financial problems more than
last
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 decade. The expensive fees for renting or buying a place, high banks' interest, and mortgages
as well as
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 the sharp
rising
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rise
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 of home appliances and goods prices, put
an
Correct article usage
apply
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extra pressure on
families
Use synonyms
 to manage their expenses. A salient example is that, in some developing countries people cannot afford to buy
basic
Correct article usage
the basic
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 needs of their children like clothes and appropriate meals.
Secondly
Linking Words
, because of
Correct article usage
the developing
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developing
Replace the word
development
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social
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of social
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 media applications, couples have been targeted for more betray and
affair
Fix the agreement mistake
affairs
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 which in turn ruin a lot of marriages. The first workable solution is that
,
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apply
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 governments should apply some policies to support
families
Use synonyms
 in the different areas of demand.
For instance
Linking Words
, they can provide interest-free or low-rate interest loans for buying homes and households.
This
Linking Words
 will assist couples to get some
reliefs
Fix the agreement mistake
relief
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 regarding
to
Remove the preposition
apply
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main expenses and decrease their fear of financial failure. Another viable solution is that
,
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apply
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 people should spend more time with their
families
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
on
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 different
ocassions
Correct your spelling
occasions
locations
 and gatherings
instead
Linking Words
 of wasting time
in
Change preposition
on
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 social media and
distructive
Correct your spelling
destructive
 relations. By way of conclusion, considering the points discussed above, there are different reasons why
families
Use synonyms
 are not as close as they used to be like
economical
Replace the word
economic
show examples
 difficulties and
distructive
Correct your spelling
destructive
 relations in social media. There are some viable solutions including
support
Correct article usage
the support
show examples
 of governments for funding
as well as
Linking Words
 building a family environment.

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grammar
Make sure to proofread your essay for minor grammatical errors and typos. Correcting errors like 'workable solution is that, governments' to 'workable solution is that governments' and 'regarding to main expenses' to 'regarding main expenses' will improve clarity.
task achievement
Provide more specific details and examples to strengthen your points. Although you have mentioned financial issues and social media influence, offering specific case studies or statistical data could make your argument more compelling.
task achievement
The essay addresses the prompt effectively, offering both causes and solutions for the issue of family breakdowns.
coherence and cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is clear, with each paragraph focusing on a single main idea that supports the overall argument.
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