Many countries have compulsory military service for young men after they leave school. It would be a good idea for all countries to adopt this system for men, and possibly for women too. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Many nations reserve obligatory military
service
for young Use synonyms
people
of both Use synonyms
gender
. Usually, Change to a plural noun
genders
this
military Linking Words
service
starts after the end of school, when guys are Use synonyms
growth
enough. Some Replace the word
growing
people
claim Use synonyms
that is
a good idea to extend Linking Words
this
type of compulsory public Linking Words
defense
Change the spelling
defence
service
in all Use synonyms
countries
Use synonyms
without
. Personally, I completely disagree with Change preposition
apply
this
statement. In Linking Words
this
Linking Words
essay
I will explain why.
Nowadays, some Add a comma
essay,
countries
are forcing young Use synonyms
people
, men and women indistinctly, to serve the nation as soldiers. Use synonyms
However
, governments of these places are not giving the chance to these young guys to choose their destiny. Linking Words
For example
, most oriental nations Linking Words
recruited
so many young men and women, and they have to learn how to shoot with a gun or how to drive a military truck into a war zone.
By the way, in 2024 I think that forcing Wrong verb form
recruit
people
to do something is against Use synonyms
the
human rights. It is not fair that young Correct article usage
apply
people
are not able to choose Use synonyms
for
their own destiny in some Change preposition
apply
countries
. Use synonyms
For example
, I think that Linking Words
as
many others Correct word choice
like
that
young boys and girls have to be able to invest their time Correct pronoun usage
apply
on build
their future, Change preposition
in building
thus
spending their time Linking Words
serching
Correct your spelling
searching
a
job opportunity that they really want, Change preposition
for a
such
as being Linking Words
doctor
, teacher or surf Correct article usage
a doctor
instructors
.
In conclusion, I disagree with the main statement, because war is not Fix the agreement mistake
instructor
the
synonym Correct article usage
a
of
freedom, and soldier is not a synonym for safety job. There Change preposition
for
no
one good reason to ask Add a missing verb
is no
to
other Change preposition
apply
countries
to adopt Use synonyms
this
kind of compulsory military Linking Words
service
.Use synonyms
Submitted by bucciarellianna3 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Make sure to provide more specific and relevant examples to strengthen your essay. For instance, you could mention specific countries where compulsory military service is in place and discuss their outcomes.
coherence cohesion
Work on the logical structure of your essay to ensure that each paragraph flows smoothly into the next. This will help in presenting your arguments more clearly.
coherence cohesion
Avoid using conversational language and informal expressions such as 'by the way.' Maintain a formal tone throughout the essay.
task achievement
You have clearly stated your disagreement with the statement and provided a general structure for your essay.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has an introduction and a conclusion, which helps to frame your argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.